Incidentally, I started voice training a while before my egg cracked: "I'm only here to learn how to voice female NPCs better."

Unsurprisingly, that was not the reason.

96
egg💭irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

egg remembers.

Taking it now! Feminize while you sleep <3

(Sorry to confuse you: "in the pipeline" does usually mean "coming soon")

Hard to say. I'm way happier and feeling human, but not seeing much in the way of hormone-induced emotionality (doctor seems pretty open to bumping up my dosage tho).

Still got the stare :3

I always used to think that moisturizer was kind of a scam. I'm sorry, and I take it all back.

My skin is turning into tissue paper! (And looking niiice <3) It's soaking up pretty much anything I can throw at it. Now if I can just grow my hair a bit longer and shed those last 15kg or so...

Oh! Is that what it is?

I've been using my "girl voice" all the time now, and while I might be said to present somewhat androgynous, I'm perhaps not obviously trying to appear feminine. BUT, when I talk to people, they (particularly men) have started responding in much softer tones after they hear my voice. I thought they might just be imitating me, but could it be their "talking to women" voice? I hope so :3

This, for real though. You can often tell you've made it when people stop treating you specially.

By way of analogy: I live in a non-English-speaking part of the world, and was very self-conscious about my language ability. To begin with, everyone told me "you speak very well" (with an implied "for a foreigner"), but after a lot of practice that finally gave way to a curt "that's wrong" whenever I slipped up. Now people generally assume I was born here to immigrant parents.

Gender-wise (although I'm nowhere near female-passing yet), I guess things like double-takes in bathrooms, or people being "gentlemanly" are good things to look out for?

Blåhaj is always up for a cuddle.

Oh hello, are you me?

I've been watching Elena Darlingg recently, and got a bad case of "wow, she's amazing. I'm never going to be as much of a woman as her. I'm not really trans anyway..." etc etc.

Mostly I just recognize this as an unhelpful thought pattern and go do something else for a while (and cuddle Blåhaj). Objectively, I know that these are thoughts that cis women have; it's just imposter syndrome; I should be comparing progress against my past self and so on, but that really doesn't help much when I'm feeling jealous.

Sometimes I do get euphoria though, and while I can't call it up on demand, I do try to remember those times and that I'm doing this to feel good!

Starting HRT made a big difference: I'm in the pipeline now and just sitting around is still working towards my goal. I hope your therapist will get you sorted soon.

<3

119
egg👉irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Previously...

Do you think she was trying to tell me something?

126
egg²irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Eggy thoughts from my past self.

12

The final print volume of the manga is out, and I guess this will be the plot of the movie, so spoiler alert!

Is Makoto trans? IMHO, it doesn't matter, and that's the point. This is a really trans- and (queer-) positive story.

Aside from the obvious themes of trans presentation and queer romance (whether Makoto is trans or not then at least one of Ryuji and Saki ain't straight!), there is a very strong message of self-acceptance.

Makoto's grandfather's arc teaches us to accept ourselves, even at the potential cost of estranging our family (and although it isn't shown, it's pretty clear that the path is open for reconciliation with Makoto's mother). There's a great line from the neighbor too after doing Makoto's makeup: you decide whether it suits you!

The Ryuji/Saki + Makoto romance line is all about how there are people who will appreciate you for your true self, and you don't have to lose your friends.

Saki in particular struggles with what it means to find someone "special", and who she should live with: in the end she realizes you can just decide it for yourself! And also comes to understand that while her parents maybe fit the socially-expected role, it's the people that actually care for and are there for her (her grandmother and Makoto) that are important.

And then there's "I just want to live as me" Makoto. Maybe a femboy; maybe a trans girl; certainly exploring. This of course echoes that "but am I really trans" self-doubt, and the answer is: it doesn't matter! It's up to you! Just be yourself (can't be anyone else!). Makoto recognizes himself in his grandfather, and turns there for advice in the end. By the end of the story, all the characters are living more true to themselves, and are happier for it.

Plus seeing Makoto's hair gradually growing out hit me right in the feels 🥲

PS I only realized recently than Pom is also the creator of trans meme icon Kurumi-chan! (Menhera-chan) I hope we see more from this author in the future.

61

I mean it's not bad, but I still got that husky clocky thing going on. Still need to dial in the sharpness, get more consistent, and find the confidence to go all-in.

95
Let your old self go (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I always wondered why that line resonated with me so much... now I get it.

104

How exactly do you shave your back?

In other news, flagging down a store attendant and asking (in my best girl voice) if they had any stock left was probably the scariest thing I've ever done.

86
Euphoria [transfem] (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Sitting in my underwear, torturing myself with my new toy, I thought: "What I'm doing now is pretty fucking girly. I love it."

43
Day-to-day voice practice (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I can make all the sounds, but maintaining a feminine tone is still pretty hit-or-miss. Since I spend all day at work talking to my team online, I figured it would be good to use that time for voice practice. (I'm already out, so hopefully they won't think I'm going insane)

I've been slowly pushing the pitch up over the past few weeks to avoid straining, and with a pitch tracker going it looks like I'm sitting at around 150 Hz right now (for reference I usually aim for 200 Hz when training, which I can comfortably manage for short periods). Not quite target pitch, but at least I'm not dropping out of the androgynous range too often. End-of-day huskiness is slowly getting better but my resonance is all over the place.

Anyway, how do you all get your practice hours in? Any fun anecdotes? I'm still in awe of all the trans women on Youtube with perfectly passable voices.

88
Impatient [Transfem] (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I'm not complaining, mind.

[-] OldEggNewTricks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 2 months ago

Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up? Do I get to wear a low-cut vampire girl outfit?

47

Hello, everyone. Hopefully I'm not doxxing myself too badly if I reveal that I live in Japan, which is not a great place for trans healthcare.

The standards of care here are still from the stone age, and date from a prosecution under Japan's widely reviled eugenics laws (fortunately repealed in... 1996). Yes, that's right: the guidelines themselves state they're to protect medical practitioners.

The key requirement is to jump through enough hoops to convince your doctor that you really do know what you want, and then do it all again with another doctor, just in case the first one was biased towards the patient. The hoops include, potentially, genital exams, karotypes, interviews with family and coworkers, and RLE. There's no set timeframe, but six months to a year seems to be the standard. Only then can you access any gender-affirming care, including HRT.

Now fortunately there is a loophole. Any treatment started outside the scope of the guidelines can be taken over by the evaluating doctor concurrent with the inquisition. And, as it happens, I'm not personally bound to follow anything.

So, with the sound of a month's supply of my new favorite hormones in convenient gel form hitting the mailbox, I'm ready to start DIY! Hopefully my doctor (who I'm due to see for the first time in October) will be cooperative. From the sound of it a lot of people are using the same trick...

122
egg_irl [Transfem] (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

If you want to be a girl, you are one.

It took me a while to understand what people meant by that (or maybe I just couldn't accept it?). The difference between "I'm a girl and I like it", and "I want to be a girl" is simply one of perspective.

[-] OldEggNewTricks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 4 months ago

Girls are the best <3

Still haven't quite figured myself out yet, and I don't see myself turning away from girls post-transition, but... maybe bi? I kind of get all blushy thinking about it though.

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OldEggNewTricks

joined 4 months ago