[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

Give me Titels of the books i need to avoid!

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

I might understand how you feel. Opening up is a good first step. But after that? I don't know. What steps to take and how long your path will be... no one knows.

Whenever anxiety tries to take controll of me... whenever i am angry at my own progress, i think about a little story:

A man takes a morning-walk on the beach. During the night there was a terrible storm, spreading tousands of seastars over the sand. He sees a woman trying to bring the seastars back to the water.

He walk up to her and asks: "why are you even doing this? You will just save a few, but the majority will die when the sun rises."

She bend down to pick one seastar up and throws it into the ocean. "Maybe. But this one i have saved."

Changing is hard and often feels pointless. The only thing we can do is doing things step by step.

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

This is not a legal passage. It is violating your autonomie and is highly discriminating. Why do i have to explain that in 2023..?

You can sign a contract with problematic passages. Your signing doesn't make illigal stuff legal. And you don't agree with illigal stuff just by signing. It is the same with rental agreements or other contracs.

The lore protects people from abuse of power and arbitrariness.

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

I... dunno.

My ex ignored me for like two weeks and had become closed of. He reinsured me, that everything was fine when i asked him. But the next time he visted me, he said that he wanted to break up, saying he made up his mind two weeks earlier. But i dunno his reason for it.

The break up was okay. I though about it myself, cause he treated me bad the whole 5 month we were together: he talked bad about my interessets and hobbys. He overstepped my bounderies. And everytime, i made him aware of that, he was like "you didn't make that clear enough". He made me push my bounderies.

Sadly, i allowed this kind of behaivor back than. I was used to it. During that time i did not know about adhd. I always acted weird as a woman and felt bad for not fitting in. I acted impulsive and had mood swings. I wanted someone to love me, accept me. So i excused these behaivors.

No. I did not allowed that behaivor. But he made me feel like i was crazy when i wanted to talk about how i felt.

Now i have more selfesteem, i am weird and loud and full of my ideas. I am in a beatiful relationship, i am loved and accepted as who i am. I But of course that expierence still hunts me. It still hurts.

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

"sie haben fett vergessen"

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I want to strech out, what "Heilpraktiker" are. Not for you but cause i want to express how much i dislike them.

The Training programm doesn't have much regulation. It's just an exam and some courses to take. During this time you are told to "become creative" with the diagnosis. Only then you can see the biger picture.

Right now they are in the spotlight cause if "false memory" tactics. They tell new trainees, that they had expierence child abused (when they have not) and by that making them question their own reality. They made them leave their family, isolate them and make them depent to them.

And germans are like "but they seem more nicer than actual doctors so they have a Daseinsberechtigung" *screams into void"

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Thank you for your advice! I turned on two languages im autocorrect, but my smart phone still is getting confused. Cause sometimes i pick Diskussionen instead of discussions or it simply doesn't get the error itself. When i write fast that always makes me anxios

But thank you. That's motivating me!☺️

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

You are my todays hero ☺️

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

When i was younger a former friend of mine told me that bs. I have light skin (right translation?) So it's a dangerous "advise". I never believed it, but the discusion were... exhausting.

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah, i can relate. Yesterday i empathized with people doing moral wrong stuff, saying that i can understand their logic. And than was acused that it would be my logic. That irrate me the whole night, but in the end it just was my brutal honesty and a lack of black and white thinking.

But yeah, it hurts when people missread that. I hope you doing good :)

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

I don't think living/being poly is as exhausting as keeping up other relationships. It is more exhausting to lie and to hide when you are cheating. Cause you create a mask and by that causing a distance to your partner.

Our society has a big focus on momogamous romantic relationship. Family, friends, other relationships variants... "not that desirable". Even i, a monogamous, find that... exhausting. My family always fights with each other, my friends are busy working. Who is left to connect to?

I love my boyfriend. But i often wish for more connection with other people (non romantic and non sexual). Just hanging out, sharing thoughts and emotions. Without being afraid of vurnability. But that means to make time for friends, to stop having a grugde with the family.

Every relationship is exhausting, but the connection it's worth the effort.

[-] Phoebe@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Warframe and lilo and stich. Love that idea🥰

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Phoebe

joined 1 year ago