... I'm probably not the first to point out that Star Trek they do a lot of walking, they don't go transporting everywhere. Why wouldn't the Golden Gate be a pedestrian crossing... just for the view. I don't get why you would write it that way, it isn't really humor, it's just lazy.
EDIT: ok, the Ketracel-white hot sauce was the quality of joke I was expecting ;) The NOLA culture stuff is great.
I used to work for Paul Allen, managed his social media messaging systems and was an internal consultant (integrating systems when Seahawks were purchased, etc) in the late 1990's...
Paul Allen was inspired by science fiction of Carl Sagan's "Contact", and build the Allen SETI array. It isn't all bad.