I’m no lemonologist but it looks like it could maybe be a very severe case of Citrus Bud Mites: https://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/384904-Aceria-sheldoni

In English for the Germanically disinclined:

Trump doesn’t take office this year. That’s not to say there won’t still be effects this year, but before January most things should still be relatively unchanged by his hands.

Real Vanity Fair image, in case you were curious like me. From this article, about a quarter of the way down (on mobile at least): https://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/donald-trump-wins-presidential-election-2024?srsltid=AfmBOoqLRfHo70JfvoeZaBIJqUpWHxf0nO_UKHUatbC_cgIqMWF3_dU9

It’s making fun of her awkward use of memes during her own campaign. The low quality of the joke is part of it

There are better ways to manage your anxiety than with nicotine. You’re anxious about your parents finding out because you know they’ll be upset, and they’ll be upset because of the negative impact you’re having on yourself by vaping. Maybe you should consider why they would feel that way.

I’m constipated and sober so this sounds like a win-win to me

Ugh guys come on, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good (or better). We cannot snap our fingers and fix everything. Incremental steps are necessary.

I know this is just a meme, but I’ll share something I recently learned since I find it fascinating.

The oceans started out as freshwater! Water evaporated from them, rained down as freshwater and formed into rivers and streams, and the process of flowing picked up trace amounts of salt from the ground and riverbeds. These rivers eventually dumped their ever-so-slightly salty water into the ocean. Then, the tiny tiny tiny bit salty ocean evaporated some pure water out, leaving less water - meaning the remaining water just got a little bit saltier in comparison. This process repeated for millions of years and those tiny increments resulted in the very salty oceans we have now.

I have no advice for you, as I live in a very humid place without very much risk of static shocks. I just want to say this question and post are hilarious.

Looks like it

This is so outrageous that it feels like satire.

Please tell me it’s satire.