Not a cop out it’s just not black and white. You seem to really be struggling with the fact someone could be in a state between believing in God and not.
You’d be surprised how many Christians will tell you they struggle with believing from time to time. The ones who will admit it at least. Many do and to many God is different from one to the next.
Not insulted at all. Grew up in Church of Christ and I can tell you that church did not match me. There’s a lot to what didn’t match me but let’s go with the overall close mindedness of it was a problem for a curious mind.
As soon as I was old enough not to go, I didn’t. Atheism for the next two decades until I found something was missing. Explored other churches and found a non-denominational that matches my views as well as doesn’t judge me as a heretic for questioning.
I think it’s unfortunate many of us grow up going to a specific brand of church. What worked for our parents in their situation may not line up either with our personality or the world we live in today.