This hits me hard. I am a cis male and currently trying to get rid of something like toxic masculinity, but as you say it is deeply rooted.
I acually never strived for the stereotypical man image, I wanted to have an emotional side. Now i know i always just considered "having am emotional side" just as another kind of requirement to be a good man. So i tried listening to others and beeing open myself, talking about emotional things. But only those, that i thougt were accepted. I never talked about my real worries. They always seemed to ridiculous to me. A good emotially healthy man shouldn't have them or solve them himself. Now it feels pretty dumb in retrospect, but I am no longer letting this feeling stop me from talking about something. In some way I also have the feeling i betrayed other people with a fake personality.
I know this is not the mistake of feminism. I cannot really say what went wrong to land in this position. I do not even know why i tell this now. In some way, I just want to tell my story and hope someone can relate with it. Secondly i want to say, that the following is not obvious for everyone, at least it was not for me: Beeing emotional is not just some requirement for you, it's also about having an opportunity to get support for your worries.
I agree completely with this stance
While I agree that therapy can help a lot in those situations, I don't think these talks should be limited to a therapist. I try to be somebody you can come to and talk about deep stuff for my friends. With one friend of mine, I mostly talk about deep feelings. It is great to have somebody like her, it's a different category than therapy. A therapist shouldn't give you his opinion and rarely shares similar experiences. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to talk to in a more symmetric way. For me it's almost never a burden to listen to the emotions of people I like. I want to hear the deep stuff.
Sure a friend is not a replacement for therapy, but therapy is also not a replacement for a friend with whom you talk about deep emotions.