I can't help but raise my eyebrows at this fb friend from the same university na ngayon nagbebenta ng pyramid schemey food supplement products. Parang sayang yung science degree niya. And then I remember, ah, siya pala yung panay flex nung pera niya or something tapos wala daw ambag sa mga groupwork. My friend really hated this dude, I never really understood it.

Malapit ko na 'to i-unfriend. I keep seeing supplements that's probably not very effective tapos a wad of thousand peso bills beside it, you know those kinds of photos. For some reason I find it nauseating.

Anyway. I had this dream where kinukulit ko daw yung instructor/lecturer sa class namin about a burning question about some topic. It was a very productive dream because my dream self was finally able to ask questions that were just swirling confusingly in my head, unable to organize it and speak it out.

You know how you want to ask something but you don't even know what to ask or how to start in the first place? That's my problem. So I just kept going at it and finally something is clicking into place. Good job, dream self. That bothered us a lot.

Naaya ko si previous supervisor mag dive together 🤠 woohoo kung sino-sino nadadawit ko sa mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay ~~

Nung kami daw nag-uusap parang conference daw ang vibe lol. It seems like my alcohol infused brain performs satisfactorily sa mga ganyan, wag lang sobrang wasak.

It really is nice to have hobbies. It's really a way to connect to people kahit quiet quiet ka lang.

Also, marunong na ako kumain ng chicken feet. My coworkers just taught me. Grabe, ngayon ko lang na-appreciate ang chicken feet, I didn't really get it back then.

I had a nightmare of being stuck in a toxic relationship. Ending: naki-pag bargain pa ako sa kanya para makuha niya na lahat ng gusto niya sakin, so I can finally be free and off myself kasi wala na nga siyang makukuha and there's no advantage of keeping me around. Naka-smile pa ako nun, and then I woke up. Mabigat sa pakiramdam 10/10.

I think if I were to categorise my bad dreams na naalala ko it would either be someone dying or me being in a toxic relationship and trying to get out of it so badly. Other kinds of fears, I can usually overcome them in dreamland pero yung dalawang yan it does reoccur.

Makes me feel anxious. Wooh! Gusto ko na lang mag therapy. Lol.

lola: ba't ang dami mong bag??

me, trying to explain each bag's purpose: 👁️👄👁️

I can explain. I have a work bag, an overnight/gym bag, a hiking bag, a dry bag, a bag for small groceries, bag for big groceries, small tote bag for fast errands, bigger tote bag for longer errands, an alternative work bag, an alternative hiking bag, tote bag for going around the house, etc.

I feel so judged 😔 ginagamit ko naman sila lahat, naka-rotation pa depending kung nasa laundry pa. Plano ko pa nga bumili ng mesh bag for the dry groceries kasi ayaw ko na ng plastic, puno na yung paper/plastic collection bag ko. Add food grade silicone bags and air-tight, reusable, compressible ziplock bags and bawas talaga ang plastic consumption ko. Plastic from deliveries na lang yung problema ko, idk what to do with that tbh.

Basta sumasakit ulo ko sa plastic bag. I can hear a dying scream of some creature suffocating out there in the back of my mind every time a fresh one is used when I could've used a reusable one. I'm not being annoying and preachy about it, it's just a personal thing that just developed dahil sa nakikita kong waste generated sa work. And now I am sad.

Kinilig ang frennies because I had a meet cute moment while we were out. I think masyadong romantiko ang mga kaluluwa nila because the moment didn't really even register with me. Kung sila hopeless romantic siguro ako hopeless lang 😆 jk

Nako, ayaw ko maglagay ng meaning sa mga bagay-bagay sumasakit lang ulo ko. I'll only allow myself to feel kilig kapag mukhang matino naman yung tao, napag-usapan na at may patutunguhan if it goes well. Hindi naman challenge pakiligin o magka feelings ako, it's just a matter of compatibility and if it's going to go somewhere.

It just be like that. We deserve people who will treat us right at pasasayahin tayo. I feel so grown up charot. Kapag napadaan ako sa timezone I shall practice my shooting zombies skill with composure. 🔫 maybe it's an inner child thing, me and zombies

Ang kwento ko ay pumunta ako sa kwarto ni friend, mag overnight sana ako. Sis ang dumi I felt the depression at yung decline of mental health na joke joke niya lang. It was concerning.

Paano siya nagffunction at nakakapag-aral sa ganyang setting? Tapos sa totoo lang natatae na talaga ako kaso umurong yung tae ko nung nakita ko yung state of the room. Ako na naglinis nung space niya. Naglinis ako ng cr.

Basta medyo na-shook ako tapos naglinis na lang ako, hindi ako natulog. I was also very much resisting the urge to ask when was the last time nagpalit siya ng bedsheet.

Hindi daw ba ako nandidiri? It felt too personal na daw nung umabot ako ng linis sa cr. Hindi ko alam girl, all I know is we all get dirty (that's why we clean) and I am not touching or using anything in a room na ganyan kadumi. I'm not judging you at all, I think you should take a break from school, actually. Consider this as an act of service when it comes to love languages.

Self-care isn't just having a skin routine or retail therapy or make up and dolling up. It's also eating and sleeping properly, exercise, cleaning your environment, getting treatment from whatever you're worrying from and the things that sometimes feel like a chore but is good for you anyway long term wise.

I had a lot of thoughts after that.

I started trying 'thrilling' sports for the excitement of it, but it seems like it ended up calming me instead 😆 isn't it interesting?

It's good to try new and different things. I feel that I've started to learn new things about myself (which tbh I thought there was not much to learn more anymore). When I reflect on all of it together, I get this little lightbulb moment and for a moment in time I think I just got a moment wiser hahaha.

For example, I knew that I have this nagmamadaling personality but I never really knew what to do with it. I consider it a flaw for myself, actually.

Now, I get it. I had to temper it out, and doing these sports is helping a lot to temper it. I think it's beautiful. Para akong binigyan ng chance to work on myself some more in a different way.

Seriously, I think I'm becoming more genuinely patient and I'm not just not minding it. It's amazing. I'm really glad and thankful while I'm writing this at 3-4am.

Off to the next adventure~~

Nakita ko uli si swimmer pool guy. I think he's hot. It's really the stamina, waking up early in the morning dedication and the discipline that does it for me, okay hahaha. Meron pa siyang timer while doing his laps.

Sa aking training program naman, my plan is to increase my laps per swimming workout. I do have skills I want to improve on. I'm not going hardcore intense because I want it to be fun for me and wala namang humahabol sakin. Sometimes pag ubos na ako ng hininga one lap is just me floating around the pool.

I like how they maintain the pool, hindi matapang yung chlorine. Walang super dry reaction yung skin at hair ko pagkatapos. Also a perk of being early in the morning: I have the cr all to myself tapos tuyo pa 😌 ako ang taga-binyag jk. I think I might stick to this pool 🤔

Galit si friend yung kalandian niya mukhang nakipag one night stand sa business trip niya. I'm just saying, i-let go mo na yan. Iba kayo ng gusto. Wala namang kayo. Friends daw, diba? It's painful to be a witness sa ganito 🤦‍♀️

Sometimes I wonder kailan din kaya ako magpapaka alipin at marupok para pag-ibig. Requirement ba yan? It's not very appealing for me. It's really not, or just fuck off 😩

I want something healthy and spicy, just like how I like my food.

I think I'm obsessed. Or is it infatuation? Lol. If I do this long enough with dedication this might become an actual hobby. Bottomline is I can only continue this if I got ✨money✨ hahahaha.

Once again, I will rethink my decisions in life. I will do it step-by-step and through experience. I really need to develop that control so I don't panic, and you know, die.

When I feel fear I just try to keep in mind that specific fear comes from the unknown and ignorance. So, let's not be ignorant. Don't be a dumbass and don't be reckless.

Tamang hanap lang ng insurance that can cover extreme sports injury during my free time. Calculated risks tho...I will take that.

I keep thinking about it, my best guess is I got stung by a jellyfish kaso di ko kasi nakita and not knowing is even more annoying 😒 basta walang kakamot is the rule lol

I can really only deduce based on what I got. Either way, I still like jellyfishes. Next time mag full suit na lang ako.

Madami akong natututunan for my beach trip. One could call it a vacation, but I thought it was pretty productive too.

Next time baka try ko matulog sa hammock just so I can save on accomodation💲jk. I think I'll seriously try it pero solo trip hahaha. Tapos kapag di ko kinaya pasok na lang ako and try to upgrade to an actual bed.

I wanna try things.

morning kayak first thing in the morning, walang kain: 2 miles ang aking limit lol. A sports watch would be really handy right now kaso di ko pa afford yung watch I've been eyeing 👀

Nakisabay ako sa mga small boats and something like a small cruise ship/ferry/yacht and it was fun. Kaway-kaway lang in my little motorless kayak 👋 ✨ im so tiny

Nung nag snorkel around ako the corals near the shore are pretty dead, it's sad. Malalaki pa naman. Meron ako nakita lumalaban pa tho when I went further. Gurl if I had equipment markado na yung place tapos babalikan ko uli next time just to check up on it. Kaya ko naman i-estimate yung distance 🤔

May dumaplis na something sa leg ko tapos namula at nangati ang aking binti. I have no idea what it was, di ko talaga siya makita but I'm alive and not convulsing, plus the skin is returning to normal. Pero gusto ko talaga malaman kung ano yun ah 😆 hay

I definitely keep telling myself not to be too arrogant sa mga activities ko (as fun as it is). Safety is priority. Tropical fishies are so pretty tho.