Sorry for the long replies. I'm interested in trying to help if you are too. But I'm not trying to over extend here either. Let me know if you want to stop. I know it probably doesn't seem like it but I'm putting probably 20 min in on each of these just trying to cut them down to a "normal" size.. I could literally write a book on this!

A couple things: Idk what your scores are but basically the higher you get on the CAT-Q (2nd test) the higher the score should be on the RAADS-R (1st test). IIRC, the highest score ever formally recorded by someone allistic (not autistic) on the RAADS-R was 64. The other thing is, a lot of people don't know how either that what they're doing is "different" from allistic people, or they don't know they're doing it. For example, I wondered I was autistic for years and did test probably 5-6 times before I met someone autistic that was just like me and it all "clicked". For this reason I would recommend doing the test with someone that was around you when you were very young if you can. I will also give some examples below of some of those things that don't stand out right away if that's not possible.

That said, we have a couple possibilities.

1. You simply may not be autistic. There are conditions that could look similar to autism enough to make you wonder if you are or "show up" on the test but maybe not be very high on it. cPTSD is a common one if you lived in a long-term environment when you were not physically or emotionally safe. This is a strong possibility because given that you have ADHD, there's an extremely high chance you either grew up poor or had some sort of scarcity issues (one or more of love, food, shelter, etc)--this is believed to be the leading cause of ADHD. Remember that an estimated 80% of autistic people have ADHD, but that can be from the fact that life is pretty shit when you're autistic and don't know it! Less likely but possible could also be OCD or even dyslexia, both of which are SO MUCH bigger than people think.

2. (This one happened to me, so I'll bring it up): You may have learned the "right" answers to these so long ago you think it's the real you's opinions. Here's a couple of late diagnosed things a lot of us go through:

• Maybe you know how to make eye contact.. but do you actually like it? Like not that it's useful because you can see how people respond, or that you get treated better, but is it something you genuinely want to do?
• Did you line up your toys as a kid? Did other kids not follow the rules well when you played, and you tried to teach them?
• What's the most important personality trait? Is it authenticity?
• How about special interests? Do you have any hobbies that you're really good at? This is another one that high masking autistic will get wrong sometimes because maybe you don't think you are that special at something. But do you ever watch an public figure/celebrity/expert even maybe do the thing "wrong"? Like if you're a mechanic special interest are you going to be upset that someone didn't look up torque specs, or if you program... and they either built code in a stupid way or formatted it with the wrong bracket style.. these sorts of things. If you even notice this sort of stuff, that's probably not the ADHD.
• Do you feel like you can look right through other people and maybe know more about them than they know about themselves?
• The sentiment: "Why isn't everyone else as blunt as me?"
• Sensory things: like turning down the radio when you go to park. Or clothing tags suck. Or that little nub on the small toe in your sock that always sits wrong. Is polyester the worst? Do you have a specific utensil preference, like only liking the small spoon or a specific heavy steak knife? These are some common "real life" low-support-needs experiences.

This 100%.

Sometimes you can be the hug they never got when they were a little kid and their fuckhead dad beat them instead of letting them be gay (or whatever authentic self got crushed).

I'm not saying you should put a huge amount of work into this but sometimes being kind and meeting someone where they're at even if they're super wrong does more to break the mold than to be a dickhead back. These people have a lot of experience doubling down to resistance, and if you surprise them with kindness it can shake up the whole setting.

That said, if you're kind and try to teach them, and they're still bastards/non-receptive, then move on and change the minds you can. Don't waste your time on people that don't want it.

Thanks for the kind words, I'm trying my best! Remember just saying something kind about something you like is also a rare art, and I hope you keep that up!

BTW, you can "follow" people on lemmy by shooting a message (even if it's just says "Follow" in the message) and then just visit your sent messages and look for the ones that say "Follow" and click the user you sent them to. Not perfect but it's something.

If not, I'm sure I'll see you around. Cheers!

Hey there, sorry this took so long to answer. I usually only have time to get on and type real answers at night.

A good way to find out is a combination of a couple tests. The RAADS-R is the most accurate known autism test. It is known to be over 80% accurate by itself. Here is a free one that doesn’t require registration: https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

I would combine that with this one, especially if you're high-masking (this would feel like doubting you're autistic too, but the doubt itself is not a diagnostic criteria): the CAT-Q is a good test to identify camouflaged autistic traits that you’ve learned to hide. This one is also free from the same place: https://embrace-autism.com/cat-q/

BTW/FWIW if you’re 18+ there is less reason to get formally diagnosed. University of Washington did a study some time ago which found self diagnosis is rarely wrong. The paper states, "We believe that if you have carefully researched the topic and strongly resonate with the experience of the autistic community, you are probably autistic." Link to that PDF here: https://depts.washington.edu/uwautism/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Self-Diagnosed-Adult-Autism-Resources-handout-9-22-22.pdf

As always, feel free to ask if you have questions even if it's not autism stuff. No promises but I'll try my best. :) It’s a big world to navigate if you're new to it.

That's not fair phrasing and will lead to high numbers.

Hitler wasn't "all" bad technically, he was just so bad that the good shouldn't matter at all. Pushing forward technology (VW Beetle, Autobahn) should is no way be justified by genocide (obviously).

A better question would have been something like "do you like Hitler overall?"

Hell yeah

So I was this person, and I didn't figure it out until later in life.

The trick is, with ADHD, caffeine will slow down your brain but it still speeds up your body (still a stimulant). So too much, and you will be tired and jittery.

If you're autistic, there's a good chance that autistic masking is the root cause here. If you have social anxiety especially, your mask will kick in automatically (subconsciously) and come off as fake to most people, and they will not like you for it. A quick test for this is, are you good at making a good first impression or short time of friendship and then it kinda falls off with time? If yes, masking is likely in play. I highly recommend the book Unmasking Autism even if you're not autistic. It applies to others as well and it is excellent.

The short term (maybe long term..?) solution is to make autistic friends. They'll understand "the weird" and it should be much simpler. Try searching around your local area for autism or neurodivergent clubs and see how you feel around other similarly-minded people.

I live in a high altitude area. It gets very hot. People will say that it's because we're "closer to the sun" as if the ~6000ft/~1800m difference is what matters vs the 93,000,000mi/150,000,000km distance to the sun is affected by something so small.

The difference is the lack of atmosphere to soften the various types of light from the sun.

I'm not a gastroenterologist, but I do believe when you have an o-ring issue you specifically do shit your pants.

It's true. I work in a computer shop and we see literally thousands and thousands of dollars lost from people clicking on ads that look like normal buttons (things like "Download", "Next", etc). And not just the elderly either. Everyone has a a combination of inputs to get scared and comply. Folks that are otherwise extremely competent and savvy can get scammed too.

The best security you can have online is adblockers, only beaten by using trusted websites.

Edit, fair points with sites being slimy these days. I meant using legitimate versions of websites rather than copy/fake websites designed to steal credentials.

Why do you think they call it a "blow" hole?