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We have 2 major incidents
First one:
Dude A lends Dude B some money, relatively small amount, pretty sure it was less than $50. Dude B decides he's not going to pay it back, so like mature, reasonable teenagers they decide they're going to go to the park after school to fight about it.
Dude A is not a big guy, he asks Dude C who is a giant of a human being to come along just to make sure he doesn't get killed, sort of a referee to pull dude B off of him if things get out of hand, not expecting him to step in or lend a hand or anything.
Dude B apparently has a different idea about how this is going to go down, and has a few friends come along with him with screwdrivers and baseball bats and other such improvised weapons.
Dude C sees this as they're about to walk off the school property to fight, and does his job, takes these weapons, throws them in his bag, throws his jacket over the protruding bat, and they're about to continue on their way.
The school, however, got word of this fight about to go down, and a bunch of cops show up.
Dude A lucks the fuck out and a passing senior he kind of knew pulls him into her car and assures the police that he wasn't involved in this clusterfuck. None of the other kids give him up and he gets off scott-free and cops never figured out who the last unnamed party to this was.
The rest of them are all taken in, questioned, and receive their various punishments. Dude C gets the worst of it since he's the guy who's now holding all the weapons. He goes and spends a year or so at an alternative school, and is allowed to come back partially on the condition that he joins the football team. Our senior year we proceeded to win 0 football games, so fat lot of good having a giant on the team did.
Apparently dude C had misled his friends about how much money this was over, when informed by the cops that it was over like $40 he flew into a small rage, threw some things around, then calmly sat down and said "I have been misinformed"
Rumors of course start swirling and the truth gets very lost to the point I heard a version of the story where Dude C attacked the cops with a samurai sword and tried to flee on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty confident that this is a pretty accurate version of events though, a couple of the involved parties have all told me pretty much the exact same story, and it's relatively unspectacular compared to some of the embellished versions I've heard. It's also pretty much in line with what I know of their personalities.
For the most part, these kids weren't dangerous, I don't think any of them really had any other significant problems for the rest of their school career, and I'd describe most of them as nerds and generally decent people, some of them have some mental/emotional baggage, and couple that with some hormones and being stupid teenagers the stars just kind of aligned in the wrong way, and for the most part none of them held any significant grudges against each other and could probably have been considered friends to some extent afterwards.
Second incident:
I'm home sick one day, my mom worked at a school in our district, my sister was in school this day.
The phone rings, it's an automated message from the district. Something about the district being made aware of a threat to the high school, but that everything is under control, there's no danger, etc. not a lot of details.
Call my mom, she doesn't have much more info than I do, she's, not particularly worried, but of course a lot of parents panic and go to pick up their kids. She texts my sister to see if she wants to be picked up, she declines, she's having a good time, it's her and like 3 other people left in her class, they're chilling and watching movies and such, there's a news crew and some cop cars outside of the school.
Having nothing better to do, I'm going through all the news I can to figure out what's up.
Eventually, it took a few days for all of the details to emerge, what we managed to piece together was
There was a kid who was planning a shooting, tried to recruit another kid who turned him in. Cops raided his house, found a bunch of airsoft guns, flea market swords, a half-built pipe bomb, and one gun (that his parents bought him) with no ammo.
This kid had been pulled out of school and was being homeschooled because of bullying. I didn't know him, he was a few years younger than me, but from what I understand from people who knew him he was mostly bullied because he was an unlikeable racist asshole. The short bit of attention the media gave it tried to make it out like he was bullied for being fat (and let's make no mistake, this dude was fat he may have been almost as wide as he was tall) but from the stories I've heard of him from before this happened, if any kid ever deserved bullying it was him for being such a major asshole.
I wouldn't really mention his fatness, except that at some point during the trial and such, his mom (herself a very large lady) got in trouble for trying to smuggle him food, which was just icing on the proverbial cake.
The kid who turned him then went and broke into his house a little while later and tried to steal his Xbox or something.
That sounded like you were talking about Cartman.
You would not be the first to point out the Cartman parallels, it definitely crossed my mind while I was writing it out.