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Yes, lady. That's it...
(lemmy.wtf)
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this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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Playing hard to get is a big fucking red flag. It shows a lack of maturity and a lack of truthfulness. It also shows a willingness to be deceitful to your partner.
This, right here. Don't date people who play mindgames. Start a relationship the way you mean for it to continue; with open and honest communication.
Yes, obviously flirting is about dropping hints, and that's fine, but at the point where the hinting stops and one party says "I'm into you and I hope you're into me too", there should be no bullshit. If you like someone you show them the basic respect of saying what you fucking mean.
I mean, I'm more than happy to play along for the sake of having a playful time... but come on.. don't waste weeks of my life
Ain't nobody got time for that shit.
"playing hard to get" is a female fantasy, not a male one. She likes the idea that she's so HIIIIIIIIIEYEIIIIGH, high above me, she's so lovely that I'm willing to throw my family in a canyon to prove my worth to her. Boosts her delusions of grandeur.
There is a certain kind of men who do enjoy the chase. They call themselves "pickup artists." Normal men are either looking for something casual or something long term, and in both cases they're interested in finding a woman who is also looking for similar terms and don't really want that chore maximized or complicated beyond what it already is.
Women do not know how to play hard to get. They implement "hard to get" as "flatly refuse." I think a separate hatred of expressing consent is why they don't say something like "You'll have to do better than that."
Have you ever been inside a sex club?
If you spend even 20 minutes in a sex club, you can watch and see numerous examples of how you're wrong. It might help you understand the sexual behavior and cues of women.
Sex clubs?? What? No. Most people people learn in normal ways. Also "the sexual behavior and cues of women" is such a creepy way to put that
Sex clubs are normal. They are legal venues where you can watch people interact. Given that it's a sex club, the interactions are usually sexual. You'd be able to see women doing things like saying no clearly and not minding that at all - that's actually part of the culture of sex clubs and sex positive spaces.
I don't think it's creepy and I'm a woman. What verbiage would you prefer, since you're a man who needs to police how women talk about other women. Tell me what would help you not feel like a victim when I discuss watching women at a sex club, who are there ostensibly to be watched in the first place.
I think it's more that you're scared of rejection and women having choices. You're too much of a coward to even try to go to one and just see. You watch porn right? But irl, that's too intimate and you might start seeing these women as people. Can't have that.
The person you unloaded that reply on wasn't even the one you originally replied to. Are you okay?
Before you get too affronted by my maybe not super politic words below, understand that you should imagine me in chaps, a chest harness, and a bull horns headpiece if it's the Halloween Munch, vibing.
A sex club is to advanced empathy as differential equations are to little Timmy's arithmetic problem, do you not realize this?
It's a firehouse turned upon hearing someone say their mouth is a mite dry. It's just the reality: They're literally categorized as 'non-mainstream' spaces precisely because they do not easily fit the currently mainstream view on sexuality or mores, pretty much nowhere.
Not to mention, not the environment to throw in those you suspect of bigotry or misogyny jeez, they're supposed to be spaces kept clear of that sort of baggage and drama so their purpose can remain clear, consensual, and to the point.
No organizer is going to host a "gawk at our ladies react, learn our etiquette" event, and if they did, that would only maybe help the sort of folk you're accusing these people of being mask and pass at the Munch.
Not improve their lives long term in any way. There is a reason why you still have to get to a dedicated space to see the things you mention play out as normally as they do, where they are maximally normalized.
People generally can't act how they do in there in any other social setting and they're spaces where the things you learn can only translate to your life in some ways (more compassion, better lover, learn to seek and engended enthusiastic consent, etc) but even that generally requires the person going to be arriving ready to take some learning out.
I don't care if you've been pegged in front of everyone at a sex club, that doesn't make you the leading authority on them. And you certainly aren't the leading authority on women's comfort.
I think sex clubs are a great starter and much better than strip clubs or porn theatres. Sex clubs usually have people from all ages and backgrounds, and often have ice breaker event nights like game night, karaoke, bondage, etc. Sex Clubs and kink, like Lemmy, are full of autistic nerds. So much so that I have noticed my subs who play DnD are genuinely better at roleplay and metadiscussions compared to ones who haven't played.
Also, his behavior isn't a risk to others because sex clubs (not Munch) are private clubs with rules that you have to sign to enter, and people monitoring activity. He has to follow the rules which includes consent, and yes they allow new people into sex clubs no problem. Building community is one of the best ways to get someone to change their mindset. There's plenty of misogyny in those spaces without you blaming me, a woman, for it. Yet again men try to make women responsible for their bullshit. What have you said to the poster to help him deconstruct his toxic masculinity and sex phobia? Or do you only have the energy to be shitty to the only obvious woman here?
Voyeurism is 10000000% allowed at sex clubs and it is what the majority of people there do. Most people do not get busy in front of others. And the people who do are often exhibitionists who like that. That's literally the point of the sex club.
The reason sex clubs are a dedicated space is so people can consent to seeing sex acts happening and being around sex acts. The entire point is that it is founded in consent for those acts at the start. That is what makes it "alternative" - the consent itself, not the acts taking place per se, which are normal in a bedroom setting. That others consent to see it and treat it as a norm is where it becomes alternative. OP would get a masterclass in consent and how it works in front of his eyes. It would probably benefit him.
You are off your rocker, and dangerous to those you share a play space with, wow. I pray you're that visibly unhinged where others can be warned before they risk their reputations, sanity, or comfort near you.
Thank you, I appreciate that. Your compliment made my day.