It's a combination of the first two I think, lol. Also it is his family home we're living in. There are times I've thought, if the kids weren't so connected to the area and dependent on me, and I had the financial means, I'd be gone. My MIL is leaving it to the children in a trust with me as administrator, as she doesn't trust him to not be stupid somehow and fuck it up. He isn't malicious, which is frustrating, it's like the older he gets the more stupid he gets and I thought people were supposed to get wiser and I don't understand it at all.