Bonus points if your static site sends a 503 with a retry after header.

That’s not really… possible at this point. We have thousands of customers (some very large ones, like A——n and G—-e and Wal___t) with tens or hundreds of millions of users, and even at lowest traffic periods do 60k+ queries per second.

This is the same MySQL instance I wrote about a while ago that hit the 16TiB table size limit (due to ext4 file system limitations) and caused a massive outage; worst I’ve been involved in during my 26 year career.

Every day I am shocked at our scale, considering my company is only like 90 engineers.