"The last time my windows crashed was when the asshole neighbour's kids were playing baseball. It ended up being this whole thing where those kids and my kids got shrunk and I accidentally threw them out before I realized what had happened and everyone got pretty upset before everything was resolved and we became good friends. So you're saying that that happened because of a virus? If you get rid of the virus, will you also undo the whole shrinking thing?"

Or act like you have a real virus. Like it keeps opening ads every two seconds and bitch at them for adding so many ads to Windows. Like try to act like an amazing mark for them but make them work for your money--not because you aren't willing to give it to them but because you're so dumb you've left things in a state where work needs to be done before that can happen.

It Bitcoin gets mentioned, ask why anyone would want you to cut up a coin and send them the bits to an address your smart friend thinks is on Uranus or something.

I've seen videos of people that install the remote access software on a VM, I wonder if there's any where they've set it up to pop up new ads every 2 seconds. Even better if they make them wait while they look at each ad to decide if they are interested and insist some just get moved to the side instead of closed because they want to pursue them after the call. Cherry on the cake would be for the ads to be about things like penis reduction or softening pills or hiring a service to fend off all the local singles so you can get on with your day.