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this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
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Not consciously knowing doesn't mean their brain isn't affected.
Not telling them is gaslighting whether they're consciously aware or not.
So you are arguing against consent?
Consent is informed.
Withholding the fact that a person has been raped is exactly the same as a doctor withholding a cancer diagnosis. They do not have that option and cannot have that option. The patient must have the relevant information to be capable of managing their treatment.
"we found out about some bad things that happened to you as a child, do you want us to tell you what we found out?" Is a perfectly valid way to ask for informed consent before doing something to them they may not want.
No, it is not. That is not informed.
Information being shared with the patient is not something that takes their consent. It is the baseline bare minimum obligation of every provider in every circumstance.
A lawyer can't allow a client to decline to hear a plea offer. A doctor can't choose to allow a patient to make any decision without being fully informed of everything the doctor knows relevant to their case. The information is always mandatory, and it's always malpractice not to provide it.
I'm not talking about law, I'm talking about morality.
So am I.
The person being fully informed is the baseline legal requirement all the time because it's literally the only way they can possibly make decisions about their best path forward.
Not informing them isn't just unethical. It's fucking unadulterated evil with no theoretical justification.
Right, so the answer to my earlier question is "yes" in this instance your are anti-choice. Is fine, but own it or we end up going on a big circle to get where we should have been three or four comments ago.
And we could have had a conversation about that, but honestly, I'm just not that invested in the conversation anymore, it's been a long day and I'm out of patience for random strangers who are more interested in being right than communicating.
Being informed is not a choice. Care is the choice.
Being informed is a prerequisite to decide care. There is no other possible way to make a rational decision.
Look around you, being informed is absolutely a choice. This place is a great example of people choosing pleasant fictions over uncomfortable realities every day.
Just because you think it is an unacceptable choice doesn't mean it isn't one.
It's really not a choice, because enough of you knows to be massively harmed. And there are numerous potential physical consequences. But ignoring that, it's not a choice you're entitled to.
Literally any doctor, mental health professional, police officer, or other person in any other position of influence/authority who doesn't give you the information for any reason is an unforgivable monster who belongs in a maximum security prison cell for a minimum of half a decade per offense, with every other person in there knowing that they're there for covering up sex crimes.
Just... Wow.
The true test of being kind is not just empowering others when it makes you feel good, but empowering others when their choice makes you uncomfortable.
Someone absolutely has the right to say "my life has been fucked up enough already, don't tell me, I don't want to know."
The truth is you would take that way from them just so you can feel good about yourself, whether it caused depression, or suicide, or hurt. You would take their choice away because you don't agree with it so you could feel "just" whether it re victimizes them or not.
That right does not exist, because it is literally impossible to have the information required to make it, and it inherently requires someone else to do inexcusable, unforgivable things. You don't have the right to compel someone else to be a monster.
The act causes the hurt. The knowledge of the source of the hurt is the only way it can possibly be addressed.
"Please watch the following 15 hours of video we found on your uncle's laptop of you getting raped when you were 12 so you can understand what level of trauma you should be feeling."
Vs.
"We found out some horrible things that happened to you as a child, do you want to know?"
One of these options is kind and also empowers the victim, can you guess which one?
Neither of those shows the tiniest hint of kindness.
Either makes you a monster.
In my eyes you forcing them to know just so you can sleep at night makes you one. You might as well make them watch footage and really relive it if you are going to deny their right to decide. After, you said they need the information of what happened to them. You just like your arbitrary line of where to stop. All I suggest is giving the victim that choice, and I'm the monster?
They need to know to be capable of living their life.
It is literally impossible to make intelligent decisions about their future health without all the information available. Willful ignorance is not a valid position, and health care professionals aren't permitted to allow you to make decisions without knowing everything you need to know for a reason.
And again, by definition, you cannot be qualified to make the choice until you know what the information you're asking to be withheld is, because that information is required to make a rational decision.
People do have the right not to make intelligent decisions.
Sure, doctors and lawyers have their obligations, but a victim has the right to nope the fuck right out of there to avoid additional mental trauma. It isn't up to you.