Advice request: How do I stop venting to people? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by dingus@lemmy.world to c/general@lemmy.world

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

When I'm frustrated or anxious or upset, I vent to the few friends I have. This is a negative coping mechanism as it damages our relationships. I also experience extreme remorse after doing so, which further perpetuates it because I'm constantly asking to be forgiven.

Earlier this year I tried to see a therapist and ask for advice on this. She dismissed me and said that it's ok to do that and you can't simply keep everything inside.

She was incorrect and was also a shitty therapist for various reasons (she was 15-30 minutes late to each session and just dismissed anything I said).

I'm hopefully trying again with a new therapist soon, but I need advice in the meantime. It is actively damaging my relationships.

"Journaling" is not an option because I can't stop what I'm doing at work to go journal something whenever the need arises.

Thanks all. I can delete on request if needed.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Finding a better therapist would help. Also finding the right people to vent to. Some people handle it better than others. You can try even saying, "hey, I'm not looking for advice, I just need to vent, would you mind being an ear?" at least that way you have their permission and they understand that they aren't expected to fix whatever the issue is. Controlling who you vent to is also a good way to prevent venting to the wrong asshole who can't shut their mouth.

I know you said no Journaling, but also consider a journal app on your phone or even just a Google docs. It's a discreet way to vent briefly. I remember also taking a pen and a notebook and writing how I felt over the same line over and over so it wasn't legible to anybody walking by. It's likely something you'll never read again and it's about letting out the frustration more than anything.

this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024

32 points (94.4% liked)

General Discussion

11946 readers

65 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy.World General!

This is a community for general discussion where you can get your bearings in the fediverse. Discuss topics & ask questions that don't seem to fit in any other community, or don't have an active community yet.

🪆 About Lemmy World

🧭 Finding Communities

Feel free to ask here or over in: !lemmy411@lemmy.ca!

Also keep an eye on:

For more involved tools to find communities to join: check out Lemmyverse!

💬 Additional Discussion Focused Communities:

!actual_discussion@lemmy.ca - Note this is for more serious discussions.
!casualconversation@lemm.ee - The opposite of the above, for more laidback chat!
!letstalkaboutgames@feddit.uk - Into video games? Here's a place to discuss them!
!movies@lemm.ee - Watched a movie and wanna talk to others about it? Here's a place to do so!
!politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world - Want to talk politics apart from political news? Here's a community for that!

Rules

Remember, Lemmy World rules also apply here.

0. See: Rules for Users.

No bigotry: including racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
Be thoughtful and helpful: even with ‘silly’ questions. The world won’t be made better by dismissive comments to others on Lemmy.
Link posts should include some context/opinion in the body text when the title is unaltered, or be titled to encourage discussion.
Posts concerning other instances' activity/decisions are better suited to !fediverse@lemmy.world or !lemmydrama@lemmy.world communities.
No Ads/Spamming.
No NSFW content.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Jessica@lemmy.world

ElectroVagrant@lemmy.world

fubo@lemmy.world