Advice request: How do I stop venting to people? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by dingus@lemmy.world to c/general@lemmy.world

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When I'm frustrated or anxious or upset, I vent to the few friends I have. This is a negative coping mechanism as it damages our relationships. I also experience extreme remorse after doing so, which further perpetuates it because I'm constantly asking to be forgiven.

Earlier this year I tried to see a therapist and ask for advice on this. She dismissed me and said that it's ok to do that and you can't simply keep everything inside.

She was incorrect and was also a shitty therapist for various reasons (she was 15-30 minutes late to each session and just dismissed anything I said).

I'm hopefully trying again with a new therapist soon, but I need advice in the meantime. It is actively damaging my relationships.

"Journaling" is not an option because I can't stop what I'm doing at work to go journal something whenever the need arises.

Thanks all. I can delete on request if needed.

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[-] 4shtonButcher@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

If at all possible, I would recommend you try to find a venting mechanism at work. Even if you can only let out 80% of what’s bottled up.

For me, identifying people I trust and can vent to has always been crucial when joining a new workplace. I consider myself lucky I managed to find that numerous times at clients as a consultant and now even have a manager I can vent to. Mental safety is super important at work and for me that means being able to vent sometimes. I still struggle with letting it slip out in the wrong contexts but I’m getting better.

this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024

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