The how is easy. It's the default.

It sounds like you're struggling to find meaning in things and the good news is that's 100% normal and something everybody has to figure out.

A lot of people will grab a religion, this is an easy way to have meaning assigned to you by 3rd parties, but I don't personally recommend it.

In truth, the most beautiful thing about life is that it ends. Every moment you spend, whether it's holding a loved one or having explosive diarrhea, is truly unique and precious.

I don't believe in absolutes. There is no absolutely "correct" list of rights and wrongs. No magical force dictating what is meaningful or pointless.

My best advice is, anything that you enjoy doing is worth doing, so long as it doesn't detract from someone else's ability to do the same.

Doing nothing is a thing you can do too, but if you find yourself doing that for too long, or not enjoying anything, talk to your doctor. I don't suffer from clinical depression, but I have family who does, and when I left Christianity for atheism at 18 I found myself experiencing depression in a new way.

I got prescribed a simple anti-depressant. It curbed the lows (and a little bit the highs) and made my days easier so I could work through some shit. A year later I was off them and felt like myself and knew what that meant.

For my dad, depression is an on-going thing. He's learned what helps him and he has support when he needs it.

Take care of yourself, because even if you dont see that meaning now, sticking around is the only way we get a chance to find it.