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Why IS dating rule for guys (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu -2 points 8 hours ago

Ask someone out for coffee

Again: who? That part is always missing. "Talk to people!" and say what? I can't go to a random person and ask them what their favorite color is. How do I pick a person and what do I tell them? This question is seemingly impossible to answer, as no one ever gave me one.

If you have someone like a therapist/counselor/psychologist.

I don't believe in pseudo-science. Those people can't do anything. They are not real doctors. They will not cure my autism. Plus, they are expensive and not reimbursed by social security (this is how you know it's a scam, unlike actual medical professionals).

[-] Alk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 hours ago

Therapists et al aren't trying to cure autism. They help people navigate social situations, personal and social problems and confusion, and (this part is unrelated) emotional and psychological issues.

You may be able to benefit from a therapist helping discover a set of unspoken rules that certain social interactions are based on, and create a plan of action to engage using those rules, instead of "curing your autism" which isn't possible.

[-] syreus@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

Have a good day. I don't think I can achieve anything here over text.

Therapy and psychology is valid. There are plenty of providers that operate with a sliding scale and if you income is what I assume you will be free/low cost case.

You don't need to "cure" your autism. You just need to identify the parts of you that are more abrasive and manage them.

I hope you find what you are looking for, or at the least find someone to help you work on yourself.

[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu -1 points 8 hours ago

And you didn't answer my question : who do I talk to and what do I say to them? Every time. You people are so predictable.

[-] petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago

If you like, we can do the ol' earpiece while I hide in the bushes trick.

[-] syreus@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Literally anyone you see regularly see. Make light eye contact and smile. After a couple times seeing the same person just try something simple:

" I see you here often. Do you know ______?"

A: Yes/ "Ya they have been coming here since _____. I started back in ________."

B: No/ "Oh, well I'm ________ it's a pleasure to meet you."

You are planting seeds of discourse. It makes you more approachable.

I have engaged you here in good faith so I'd appreciate the same in return.

[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 1 points 55 minutes ago* (last edited 55 minutes ago)

You're telling me to be annoying or a creep. Talking to someone unsolicited isn't generally accepted (this is something I learned from some female friends who say they don't want anyone talking to them at the gym, and from myself because the only people that talk to me in random situations are crazy or asking for money).