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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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Ye Power Trippin' Bastards
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This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
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Oh, the dragon thing made quite a stir.
What @Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com said is unacceptable and invalidating to many trans people, he should feel ashamed of himself and be banned from trans spaces for it.
I see nothing in their comment disregarding neopronouns or even nounself usage inherently, but instead discussing the inconsistent way the dragon person leveraged them.
Nounself pronouns are hard to write legibly with and drag failed to do so successfully. Why? Because drag is their handle as well. Nounself pronouns are not generally the first name of the speaker, as generally seen in the below links table of examples. (but of course not exhaustive examples)
The challenges many ( not just your target) commented on regarding the nounself pronouns are discussed here, and I think their conclusion is a good one. (Provide alternatives for expediency, and accessibility, as readability is inherently challenging)
https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nounself_pronouns
That wiki certainly isn't the bible but it's reasonably discussing the topic, imo.
I am trying to be respectful to you now:
You seem very angry, across all your interactions here in this thread and around your experiences here. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be frustrated about in life. I'm not telling you to leave. That's not my place. But I think you might find a happier experience with a bit of a break, and perhaps heavier curation of who you speak with, and where you hang out. Good luck.
No, people do not owe other people easy alternatives to just respecting the person's pronouns. I don't want people using they/them on me because it's "too hard" to remember she/her, or keep forgetting I'm a girl because of my voice. No compromise, just respect people's fucking pronouns.
You bet I'm fucking angry, if you knew what it was like to be trans you wouldn't be saying it so casually. I can't just stop being angry or stop being scared. I'm literally living in a world that hates and rejects me for who I am, and I'm forced to listen to apologia from assholes who just can't accept the fact that I'm a fucking girl.
The recommendations on nounself language are not my own. Take that issue up with them. No one has a problem with dragons pronouns. They have a problem with their inability to write consistently and use them in a way that is understandable.
You are seeking and choosing these disagreements and friction, and there's no profit to you. Look at this post, you spent all this time arguing with people and they are consistently disagreeing with you. It's possible the whole group is disrespecting your concerns, sure, but it's also possible you are approaching the issue with particular energy that doesn't translate well in text, and is not winning any battles for you. That's fine, you don't need to win votes, they don't matter. Either way, it's you experiencing negativity in non essential interactions. You are seeking it out, and then cohabitating with it, rather than discarding it. Even a community you have interest in has put you on the bench for a break.
Edit everyone is guilty of getting sucked in sometimes. I am too. I'm laid up from a car wreck and can't sleep so I'm spending too much time on here, imo.
For a person with very real and very valid stresses and concerns, you are digging up unnecessary fresh ones to add to the collection with these interactions.
Again I am not telling you to leave, or that you are unwelcome anywhere. That is not my place. I'm only responding to the content you have provided to respond to, most relevantly, the way you have commented in this thread.
You are right, this discussion is going in circles, most people here don't see or understand why this is wrong and it's likely blahaj.zone doesn't either. Otherwise they wouldn't have allowed him to become a mod now would they?
Well let's not conflate what I'm right about, and the rest of your comment 😉
I think people have been weirdly authoritarian when it comes to drag's pronoun - personally don't get why they can respect others pronouns but not drag's 🤷♀️ (still doesn't mean because they're disrespectful about that they're wrong about everything)
I explained the logical readability concerns, the group generally has no issues, dragon just uses them inconsistently in a way that makes it seem confusing and inauthentic