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submitted 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) by Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online to c/yepowertrippinbastards@lemmy.dbzer0.com

Was banned from !egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone for calling out a Mod's misuse of the Egg prime directive to criticize trans people for helping out trans women in denial of their trans-ness. They're denying the validity of signs of being transgender, what the actual fuck, this shit is not okay. Then after banning me that dipshit locks the post so no one else can reply on it. How is this not power-tripping?

Modlog history for my account: https://discuss.online/modlog?userId=11993717

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[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 10 points 7 hours ago

Can you all stop downvoting the OP? Please?

OP, you probably already the stuff that I'm going to say; I'll share for the sake of others.

Here's what I believe to be the first part of the comic from the OOP (it seems to have been deleted):

TL;DR of the "Egg Prime Directive": "the fact that trans people have an unspoken agreement not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans."


Now here's my take: YDI.

We humans do the same things for different reasons. And we should not be assuming why someone else does it.

That's one of the aspects of the egg prime directive, and the mod is simply acknowledging it - that the only person who perhaps knows why that AMAB kid is playing as a girl character is the kid themself. (Or why the AFAB kid is playing as a boy character.)

The other aspect is that, even if the person happens to be trans, you don't break an egg open from the outside; instead you keep the egg warm and the nest comfy. You don't deny it, but you don't confirm it, you make sure that the person feels loved regardless of their identity.

So no, the egg prime directive is not some "vague ass ideology", as you called it. It has good reasons to exist. Not following it does more harm than good.

Beyond that: yes, you were enforcing gender stereotypes. And yes, you were rude and hostile.

I also think that the 2d "chill your head!" ban was appropriate.

[-] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago

Can you all stop downvoting the OP? Please?

Well, upvote the thread, downvote the comments.

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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 points 9 hours ago

Gods damn, YDI big time.

You were being a complete asshole. Shit, I'd have banned you permanently, not just temporary. Way over the line of civility.

[-] Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 8 hours ago

Couldn't agree more, this shit is toxic as fuck. Really don't get how they're saying the mod is abusive, that mod was probably too nice.

[-] Sasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 11 hours ago

YDI

If someone acted like this towards me, told me I absolutely had to be trans, I would have stayed in that egg way fucking longer. You don't get to decide someone is trans anymore than a mod does, the only person who can decide is the person themselves.

You're being hostile in what should be a friendly and welcoming space, the mod did a good thing here and you probably need to spend some time reflecting on your actions.

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[-] NaevaTheRat@vegantheoryclub.org 24 points 11 hours ago

As a trans woman who wears jeans and Ts and feels more at home in a machine shop than a stitch and bitch (although stitch and bitches rock) the narrative that feminine coded behaviour is a necessary and/or sufficient condition for being a trans woman is deeply damaging medicalised bullshit.

Don't push people to perform cisness or transness, just let them discover themselves.

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[-] Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 11 hours ago

YDI, your behavior is incredibly hostile and uncalled for. Also WTF? Claiming people can't play the girl characters and have long hair while still being cis? What the hell, that sounds so dumb and outdated, people can like whatever the fuck they want without it having a deeper meaning. Who the Fuck do you think you are to try and argue otherwise?

Also it's a two day ban, take the mod's advice and cool your head, instead of starting more shit.

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[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 11 hours ago

YDI, and it's a 2 day ban, chill out.

'Cis boys can't play as girl characters or have long hair or dress feminine' is a gender stereotype. There's no reason cis boys can't do that. Or trans boys for that matter.

You mention in your comment that you could've transitioned earlier if someone just forced you to stop being in denial, but the thing is everyone isn't you with the exact same needs as you had. There are feminine men out there who don't need to be told that actually, they're women and lying to themselves. Some of them may or may not wind up deciding to transition in some way. But that is something for them to decide, not for you to force on them because you have distressing feelings about when you started your own transition.

Everyone needs support to explore their gender and gender expression, no matter what it is. If you'd had that you would have likely accepted your gender and transitioned sooner. It sucks that you didn't have it (I didn't either), but we can't change that now. All you can do is try to make that environment for other people, and telling them that their gender must be this because of x, y, z reason isn't a supportive environment for exploring gender.

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[-] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 hours ago

Playing girls in videogames is a sign of being trans now? Hello stereotype.

[-] Breve@pawb.social 1 points 59 minutes ago

When I played WoW, there were several guys in my guild who played female characters. They were all the most misogynistic gamer chuds I've ever met, who routinely objectified not only their own character but also the IRL cis women who played the game. On that note: almost every IRL cis woman I knew played male characters to avoid the attention from said gamer chuds.

I do get that some people use this as an avenue of gender exploration and maybe some of the people I met were so deep in denial that they hid behind toxic masculinity, but I think most of it was actually just toxic masculinity.

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[-] PugJesus@lemmy.world 18 points 12 hours ago

Fuck you, hiding behind the Egg prime directive so you can deny trans people the ability to break out of their eggs, you should be ashamed of yourself whoever made you a mod of a trans friendly space should be ashamed of themselves, you're not even trans you have no right to determine whether we are valid or not. Fuck you hiding behind vague ass ideology. LET TRANS PEOPLE HELP OUT EGGS IN DENIAL! b

Don't deny the validity of the signs of being trans. Do you really think that it's cis for a boy to play as girl characters and like to have long hair and dress feminine. Don't hide behind the egg prime directive either, so many of us aren't given what we need to break out of denial and end up transitioning much later than we should. I could've transitioned 10 years earlier and I would pass much better but I wasn't given the opportunity because the people who would've helped me kept me in denial. Fuck you and people who hide behind this shit to avoid helping trans people. You should be ashamed of yourself

YDI. Bruh, I played as girl characters and liked to have long hair (before I got older and wiser and realized long hair is SUCH a fucking hassle, how did I spend so many years with it?!) and I turned out cis. I played with porcelain dolls, for Christ's sake. Don't reinforce gender stereotypes.

[-] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 hours ago

Because long hair is worth the hassle 😁

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 12 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Why are you suggesting what is cis or trans or anything else for someone else's brain? It comes off like bullies I might have seen in the 90s. "Oh you like art and fantasy? F**!" "Oh you like cooking, like a woman???" It's best not to make rules of identity for how people express themselves.

Liking art didn't make me gay, and liking cooking didn't make me a woman, despite what someone said about me then.

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[-] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago

You were banned for hostility and rudeness, and I cannot help agreeing with it.

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[-] cacheson@piefed.social 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that YDI retroactively for posting such a low-resolution screenshot. -_-

But also y'all, isn't it kinda weird to downvote YDI posts? It's not like they don't belong in this community.

[-] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago

I guess it makes sense considering there was absolutely no abuse of power going on?

[-] cacheson@piefed.social 2 points 4 hours ago

This is an "Am I the Asshole?" style community, though. When an asshole posts, you're not supposed to downvote them, because they're specifically being invited to post and receive criticism. Downvotes just bury their posts and defeat the purpose of the community.

[-] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago

Huh, this is the first time I'm looking at the sidebar and seeing that detail. From the name I always just assumed it was a sub to call out mods for abuse of power.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 2 points 7 hours ago

People vote with agreement. Ya ain't gonna change that.

[-] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 hours ago

I keep telling people that

[-] PugJesus@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago
[-] Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online -4 points 6 hours ago

I'm sorry I don't have a nicer laptop with a higher res screen so I can take bigger screenshots. Maybe I should dip into my savings and buy one instead of saving up to get bottom surgery. It's no one else's problem that I have a penis after all. That was sarcasm, I'm not doing that at all, get used to low-res screenshots because I'm not buying a better laptop unless this one dies or I have a vagina (probably won't for a while afterwards bc I'll be in debt).

[-] cacheson@piefed.social 3 points 4 hours ago

Well now I'm immensely curious about the specs of your machine. A circa-2011 smartphone has more pixels than that in both directions.

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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
-13 points (33.3% liked)

Ye Power Trippin' Bastards

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This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.

Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.

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