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Fuck Cars
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I suppose keying them is a criminal offence?
These vans know every time the driver sneezes so Amazon can dock their pay for unsafe driving. These things have a million cameras inside and out.
So basically, wear a mask.
Well, given that parking in a bike lane carries a hefty fine, and that the cops don't seem to care, it's unlikely that they'd be around to notice or choose to do anything about scratched paint or a broken headlight.
I'm just thinking from perspective of type of offence. In Canada you can park in the middle of the road and that's a non-criminal offence. You're getting a fine if someone is bothered to write you up. Purposefully keying a vehicle on the other hand is vandalism, which is a criminal offence. If you get caught, you'd get a record and potentially worse than a fine. It's a different level of punishment.
The vans are surveillance vans, you do this and amazon is definitely recording you
That having been said, I think relieving the vans of all of their tire air would not be considered permanent damage.
That's a good point actually. Amazon is much more likely to care about a van that can't deliver than some scratched paint.
Just photograph the van from both angles and send the photos to the local traffic authorities.
"Oh nooo, my bike handle accidentally smashed into the van while I was avoiding the obstacle in the bike lane."
"And I forgot to tape the outer most part or my handle bar, so it is just the bare metal"