I'm betting this is the deepest and most stubborn thread you've ever been in. For me, this doesn't even break the top-20. You're amateur league, and you will give up, eventually. Until then, you're permanently ruining any credibility that account has, because you said something silly about depression and now you're trying to cover that small mistake by publicly humiliating yourself.

I've genuinely seen this exact same thing from hundreds of people on forums through the years. It's nothing new and it never works. You just work yourself up. You need to learn how to let go.