That's why I said pick one that you think aligns better with your values, also FYI there's a block option for a reason for users, communities, and yes soon even Instances will be blockable by users. If you aren't blocking people who upset you then that's on you.

There’s no winning move here, for me. :(

Quit whining, I gave you the solution which is that you need to do your own research to find one that suits you better, people can't do it for you. Honestly it was a mistake telling you about Unilem because it's like presenting the option to be lazy and not do research, which isn't helpful. People come on forums like this asking other people to do research for them, instead of doing the research and asking difficult questions they can't find the answer to.

You came on here being reactive complaining about All of Lemmy and expecting people to just feed you instance recommendations on a silver platter, or provide you with better platforms altogether, when you should be doing your own research, you're moving platforms for yourself aren't you?

Just FYI I'm trying to help you but you will find that your reactivity and tendency to dismiss big decentralized systems based on actors within them isn't going to be well accepted, and you aren't going to receive help from people by being like that, and honestly I don't blame them that mentality isn't compatible with decentralized places like this with different servers that have different communities and cultures. It's like dismissing a whole country because of one backwards poorly run town.