Yeah it's tough to say and you know your situation better than I do. Usually the people who wrong that severely are not people I cared for all that much to begin with; and yes, in those situations when someone you once cared for wrongs you deeply... The path to forgiveness can be tough if not possible. Been there under both circumstances.

I think I'm giving more broad generalized advice as to the fact that if you love and care about yourself then you should afford yourself some leeway within the context of being an imperfect human and not a perfect robot. If you continue to do X even when you try not to, it doesn't necessarily mean you should hate yourself more or beat yourself up more — after all, how is that going to help but invoke a bad feedback loop? Look at it as a game and try to find a different way to approach the quest, perhaps?