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is this something only introverts struggle with? (programming.dev)

submitted 3 months ago by dennis5wheel@programming.dev to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/29014124

When I'm working and have a question, I usually ask the ones I know to be knowledgeable and with ample job experience for advice, because they're the most qualified to give me the best advice.

Sometimes, when I do this, an extrovert who needs to talk will try to answer at the same time the person I asked is answering, meaning I get 2 very similar answers on stereo if that makes sense, but I cannot concentrate on any of the 2 stereo answers.

Sometimes this happens with 3 coworkers: the knowledgeable one I asked the question to and 2 extroverts answering at the same time the person I asked answers.

I hate it when this happens. I'm clearly talking to ONE person, looking at him in the eye. Why do other people feel I'm talking to them, even though I am not making eye contact with them?

I mean, can you guys listen to 2 people answering a question simultaneously and get both answers right?

I've started telling them I cannot hear the answer if they speak at the same time and sometimes I have to tell them I'm not talking to them, but to a specific coworker. So far, they're backing off, but why are (some?) extroverts like this?

To me, the best way to learn something if I'm not reading a book or manual is with one on one conversations: I ask a question, knowledgeable person gives an answer, I write down what I know I'm gonna have to remember and move on. Is this something only introverts do?

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[–] hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

why are (some) extroverts like this?

I sometimes do this too even though I'm very introverted. I do this because I want to feel useful with the experience I gained and it just feels like a waste sitting on some knowledge and not being able to do something with it.

It's a really cool thing if you can help someone. And some people have such a need for this, either they completely forget they were very explicitly not asked, and some will ignore it, just in the hopes they get to contribute.

Funnily enough I get to see both sides, because I also sometimes get an answer from multiple people, so I've learned how to handle it to some degree.

The best thing to do is not to tell them to shut up, but to acknowledge it and then explicitly say "also wanna hear from [experienced] person as well on this though."