this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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ADHD
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Dating requires incredible mental resilience. People are traumatized. People are selfish. People are rude. People are struggling. You will have to be able to deal with all kinds of unpleasant behaviors.
Most of the time, these unpleasant behavior have literally nothing to do with you, because people are just self-centered, the hero of their own story, not seeing others as truly equal, putting you into neat little boxes you don't really fit in, or so many other reasons.
Even if you're the most perfect person in the world, literally the most attractive, literally with perfect people skills, you'd miss out on at least 70% of connections just because of the random shortcomings of the other person or tertiary events. So you have to be able to deal with the fact that most interactions will not work out.
But for your and everyone's psyche, every failure is a blow to the ego. So you will always get more blows to your ego than getting it stroked with a success. So it's completely natural to feel like you do, that there's an issue with you. But it's just simply not true.
The only way to do this dating thing is do it exactly as much as you can handle another rejection. Optimally, you'll be so comfortable by yourself that you literally don't care about rejection, because you're so comfortable already anyway, so why should a rejection matter? You'd just return to being comfortable alone.