this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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[–] somnuz@lemm.ee 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

right one could probably be boiled down to:

heavy oversimplification warning

if anyone involved has their set of values / demands / needs met / heard / respected, with some room to

push each other forward — not like climbing the everest everyday, more of learning how to take smooth turns

grow — enjoy the things you enjoy, learn the skill you are learning, read the thing you want to read, self-discoveries, sharing experiences from your journeys

fail — nothing better forming in a relationship than some of those simple human fuckups sprinkled on top, especially valuable if the side doing the fucking up can do the cleaning up part too, or at least is learning (or willing to learn) how to do it.

quality time together — the more easily it happens, the better, but this takes time to learn and polish

bonus: one of the greatest indicators about what type of a person is on your side is how they react to your tiny wins and small joys. If they jump on board and enjoy them with you — that’s one of the healthiest indicators of long term relationship potentials. You like flowers, they will smile almost any time you enjoy gardening or talking about that one beautiful one you saw the other day. They like painting, you will just feel great seeing them covered with paint..

and so on — “I am team you” approach can get you through a lot, not everything automagically, but most of the obstacles down the road.

wrong one? Oh, we don’t have enough space on the internet to write all that down.

bonus: besides some heavily narcissistic or sociopathic partners, having the “is it working? / is it the right person?” thought process / verification is really great and often indicates that it is time for you, someone or everyone involved to grow a little, or a lot..

or sometimes just brings even more appreciation for the partner