this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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A single rear leg kick from a horse can easily break your skull apart, snap your neck or spine, cave in your entire chest, snap your femur, shatter your hip.
One good connecting hit and basically 99% of people are dead, paralyzed for life, or at best, extremely seriously injured and needing immediate hospitalization.
An unarmed human is not going to win an aggro'd fight with a horse in some kind of cage match scenario, unless its very young, very old, or quite sick or already injured.
Horses can be very dumb though: In a more real world scenario, you may be able to spook them into breaking their own legs on uneven ground, or even just running off of a goddamned cliff or into a tree or some other obstacle.
Alternatively: Spend the hour of prep time getting horse feed and poison.
Don't fight it, befriend it, and then betray that trust.
Nowhere in the rules says it has to be a fair fight. What if I just shoot the horse from outside of its pen?
I mean sure, just learn some trigonometry, grab a map, and a mortar, and kablamo rofl, toss in a grenade, jerry rig an ied drone, rofl.
Do I get prep time?
After review by the panel of judges, their response is:
'Neigh!'
The horse says DOCTORATE DENIED.
unfortunately for the horse, i’m in the 1%
Are you by any chance a centaur, perhaps an andalite?