this post was submitted on 20 May 2025
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Nobody is happy when you call them out for marginalizing people they view as inferior. I get the same reaction when call out family members being blatantly racist at family gatherings. I don't care about the reactions of people who choose to engage only with my tone, they're not here to interact with me or my opinions in a meaningful way. Last, I don't believe I overreacted at all. I called out shitty alienating behaviour in response to a meme that implies an outgroup community is disgusting or inferior based on their operating system choice. As I see it the tone of the meme was significantly more insulting than the tone of my response.
You have to consider that your tone is important when trying to make a point.
It doesn't help to call someone out in a way that's callous and without any consideration toward how they may feel about being called out. All it does is elicit a strong emotional reaction which often results in them doubling down and being defensive of their behavior.
If you call someone out gently, and they're not willing to listen, then you can ratchet it up a little depending on the severity of the behavior... until you reach a point where it's clear that you're not going to get anywhere.
So yeah, again, it's toxic behavior to alienate a subset of Linux users when the community is already very fragmented. But your comment wasn't just saying the behavior was shitty, it was also implying that the people who engage it in are shitty people. I understand that's (hopefully) not what you meant, but humans tend to think that behavior==identity and it takes effort to override that. Naturally, when the quality of one's person is in question, they're going to be quite defensive.
I feel like I'm being admonished by a schoolteacher and honestly I probably deserve it. You're probably right but I'm grumpy about it and need to re-read this later when I'm less grumpy about it