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Here's my wild theory:
The US has strategic planning. They decide that they need Canada or at least Greenland for security. They formulate a plan to destabilize the world a little near the north....they poke Putin since he has need messing with Ukraine. Meanwhile we choose Cheeto TACO. Well, not us, the electoral college. Cheeto goes bonkers at the complex plan and thinks countries are pussies so they let you grab them when you're famous. Cheeto goes to Greenland directly and explains the very secret need...we need Greenland for security so hand it over please, we'll pay you. As expected by any 3 year old, that fails. So he goes to Canada and fails again because Cheeto is unable to learn. And here we are revealing another section of the very secret plan...we would create a defense system to protect our selves from Putin if things got out of hand.
Had Cheeto not gone revealing secrets Canada may have become our new state and we all would be proud of it....like the Louisiana purchase. In a peaceful way. But Cheeto is... Deficit of thinking.... So he deflated that effort and here we are!
Let's take a look at how Cheeto would have handled the bay of pigs or D day or Hiroshima.... Hello Germany, yes I have exactly 23,000 men armed to the teeth who will attack on dday...a very secret date...if you don't stop your war. Please let them get off their boats, that's kind of a weakness in the design. But right after, we're good for a win!
Someone who can't control simple, yet important secrets for the success of a plan, should not be the president. This is again, all wild theories, I just woke up and I'm staring at the sealing just hoping that today Cheeto did not invade China or kidnapped the Mexican president as a way to make a deal on Sprite. As you know, soda cans keep getting more expensive and smaller!
One of the defining cultural traits of our northern neighbors is that they ain't us. There's nothing that fills Canadians with more pride than not being Americans. They were never going to be a single state and they weren't even going to become 10 or 13.
That's my other more plausible explanation... Cheeto is just mentally ill.
And didn't take but a few scrolls:
https://lemmy.today/post/30393382
Cheeto pulls the plug on Bird flu vaccine.
As a reminder, it took like 10 years to develop the covid vaccines. Researchers had identified that virus as a possible pandemic source a while back. I don't know all the details, just that we are lucky all those people had time to work on a vaccine. And more lucky because there was more than one team doing the same. The art of the deal is you prepare leverage so you can get the best bargain. Here Cheeto is undoing leverage and revealing it to the world. Now if a bird flu pandemic starts, all we have to do is just get into debt with another country who did prepare for the event. But I don't have to explain how stupid this move is.