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We were roommates, along with 4 other people, fresh out of high school. She and I grew closer, and before we knew it we were sharing a room together. Things went good for a couple of years, then we found out she was pregnant. Fast forward like 3 or 4 years, we bought a house. After a long engagement we were finally married, though we had lived together the whole time. Idk exactly why it ended. I was deep in the closet at that time, happy to be the man in the family as it meant having a wife, a son, a house and a car. I knew she would not accept me being trans, let alone pansexual, but again I was happy with my life. We fought for sure, over money and such. I guess we just fell out of love, and grew apart. Idk. After the divorce, she hated my guts, and still seems to strongly dislike me to this day, about 12 or so years later.
We co-parented decently for a couple of years after the divorce, but that fell apart. We haven’t actually spoken to each other in a few years, and I am fine with that. I dislike her, but as she is the mother of our son, I wouldn’t wish anything ill upon her.
I’m sure I was a shitty husband in ways that I did not see at the time, and never really cared to figure out to this day. I’d like to think that I have become a better person, and I think there are plenty of people in my life now that would say so.
I should note that after we divorced, I set up a profile on Grindr, which she found out about. She did not take that well. It was like 4-6 years later that I came out as trans and decided to be my true self.
TL;DR: I really don’t know if there was an actual reason to point to to say why we split up. I guess we both changed as we grew and became adults. 🤷🏻♀️
It sounds like you were really able to make space for yourself after you two separated. To figure out who you were at your core, outside of being a parent and a partner. I’m happy to see you were able to transition and live openly, and I really admire your ability to admit your own mistakes and flaws. Wishing you both the best.
Thank you for the kind words. I’m sure she would have a different take on this, though I will never know. Some things are not meant to have finality I suppose.
🤷🏻♀️
I hope to someday have someone to call my partner again. We’ll see.
I believe that you will. I believe there’s someone out there for everyone. I hope that you and your someone find each other soon.
And not having closure can feel awful. Maybe one day, if it feels right, you two can have a good faith conversation and at least get a sense of finality? If that’s what you both want, of course.