this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
114 points (96.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32400 readers
1388 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I wonder what causes people who once thought they’d spend their life together to not want to do that anymore.

Has your partner change? Or did they not change when you expected them to? Have you changed?

Have you not noticed each others’ flaws when love was young and the pink glasses still worked and only discovered them later?

And what can your experience teach us about our own relationships?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] hactar42@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 day ago

We were both in the military and got married at 20 and 19 years old. She got sent to Korea for a year and since I was due to separate I didn't go with her. She came home to visit after 6 months and something just felt off. The day after she left I was on my computer and noticed some files in the recycle bin. I restored them and found videos of a guy jerking off and talking dirty specifically to her.

So, then I started digging. I got into her email and found all the correspondence with a guy she met in Korea. The crazy thing was the things she was telling him were completely BS. She had basically made up an entirely different life, but with all the same people. I was apparently her asshole brother-in-law. And she came to Texas to buy a house with the "inheritance money" she got from her uncle. Needless to say she had no such uncle or money.

This then got me thinking about stuff she'd told me throughout the years and when I tried to put things together the more they didn't add up.

So, ultimately I decided to leave her because of the lying. The cheating was bad don't get me wrong, but the fact that she made up these entire different lives was just too much to come back from.