this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

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[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Everything you're describing is completely normal. Please believe me when I say that I was put through HELL with past relationships in my youth. 2 of the girls cheated on me, one of which I was absolutely madly in love with. One relationship was just absolutely toxic in every way. But you know what? I don't regret the relationships at all because they tought me valuable lessons that I still use in my current relationship. I'm married now and I love my wife. It's a great marriage. Things turned out fine. You're gonna be totally fine! Just get out there and try to meet new people. Do whatever you can to meet new friends and potential partners. You're gonna be totally fine.

Make sure you give yourself the opportunity to move on though. If you're not ready for a rebound then DON'T date right now. That's why I suggested taking at least a few months to be single. After my last relationship peior to my current one, I took 6-8 months off from dating. It was the best decision I ever made. I had to do a lot of self improvement and personal growth before I was ready to date again. I had to take care of my mental health. I had to take care of ME.

Make an effort to see the 2 friends you mentioned. Join some clubs maybe. Just do whatever you can to improve the situation. You're so young! Enjoy yourself. Really, if there was one piece of advice I could give my younger self, it boils down to "you're young. Stfu and enjoy your youth. Relationships at your age aren't the most important thing. Self development and experiences are way more important."

[–] canadianchik@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah you’re right. I know being in pain for this is normal and it will be okay. I just hate the process :/ I miss him a lot but I also know that’s normal.. it saddens me how much I tried to make things work for all my efforts to be overlooked and unappreciated. I’m sorry u got cheated on :( and I’m happy you are in a happy marriage with someone good for you 🤍I’m not looking for a new person to date but I just feel bad seeing another guy, even as just friends. I feel like I’m cheating. I know it sounds dumb but I just have this annoying guilty conscience… I’m scared. Last relationship I had was basically 3 years but after that I got so broken and I had sexual relationships with people and just found comfort and wantedness in sex. It made me numbed out. I don’t want it to happen again and I don’t think it will but I am craving physical intimacy as well. I sound like a hoe or something but idk. I also don’t want to use anyone for comfort or to dump my emotions on. I’m seeing my best friend tomorrow but idk, I don’t feel that emotionally connected with them like how I did with him obviously.

[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I feel like I’m cheating. I know it sounds dumb but I just have this annoying guilty conscience… I’m scared.

You're obviously not cheating considering you're not in a relationship with your ex. I think you know that you're not. I will repeat though - take time to be single. You'll know when you're ready to date because you won't feel guilt or shame. You'll just be ready.

I’m sorry u got cheated on

It makes for funny stories tbh. My wife 's friends think my crazy ex-gf stories are ridiculous. They're not just straight forward cheating stories. They have twists and turns.

I sound like a hoe or something but idk.

No you don't. That's a pretty normal thing people do. I did that too. I had my sleeping around phase. I'm not gonna tell young people not to have lots of sex. I think that's something that can be fun when you're young, if it's done respectfully and safely. I guess older people can do it too but it's probably not as fun lol.

[–] canadianchik@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I mean I know I’m not but my brain wants me to think that I am. And thanks for not being judgemental.