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What's old? I'm 53 and hate pretty much everything I see. I have a Grumpy Bear on my dashboard so we can bitch about other drivers. I'm in near constant pain from a back problem and can't do very many fun things anymore. And every single day I make every interaction with everyone I come across as pleasnt and fun as I possibly can. I make eye contact and say please and thank you. I tease and joke with everyone I see. Just because I'm a curmudgeonly old fuck doesn't mean I have to bum other people out. But maybe I'm not old yet.
Sounds like you are old in the right way and also in the inveitable way, there is no number that makes you old in the wrong way nor any number before death that precludes you from filling your heart with fire and fighting for younger more privileged? generations.
Our heart is any age we desire right up to and through our last moment together