this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Mental Health
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I don't get it.
So you tried everything, and nothing worked. So what is next?
I feel like the validation of pessimistic feelings is a slippery slope because one may inadvertently validate the defeatist thoughts behind those emotions.
I try to ask "What do you think you should do, then?" and more often than not, it's some sort of ambiguous capitulation. Like there's a desire to just dwell in the hole they are trapped in, and it can be difficult to have patience.
I'm on board with this way of thinking too. Your opener is poignant - you mean you tried everything already and absolutely nothing works? Well I guess there's no point in this conversation then, is there. Unless you're in need of a complaining session, in which case I can handle that for about 5 minutes until we move to a new topic.
In my experience it typically is unsolicited advice. Like, you're explaining why you're having a tough time, and then they try to offer solutions, when you just wanted to explain why you're having a tough time without requesting them to help you with it, directly
Though of course, it depends on the context yeah. In one form of the situation you're right
My sister always complains about not wanting unsolicited advice, but she's the biggest offender when it comes to unsolicited advice.
She always copes out by saying "I just need to vent, I didn't ask for advise!" And I'm like, "How weak are you that you cannot hear some words of advice and just say 'thanks, I hadn't thought about that' and then just disregard the advice-- the exact same fucking way I respond when she gives me her unsolicited advice.
The biggest difference between my sister and I is that I go to therapy.