WomensStuff

I have always stuggled to make friends, period. While people seem to love me when they meet me, transitioning to friendship is hard, and today, I don't have anywhere to even meet people, and often, I become disappointed with some habit they have that doesn't align with my morals. Like, people who shop compulsively on temu. I'm too much of an ass to look past that this person give fuck all about the environment or slave labor.

The few times I've had a best friend, well, three times I've had a best friend die. I don't do drugs but two of em overdosed. One died in a snowstorm car crash. My last best friend came out as a racist idiot after years and years.

I was literally given a dirty look by a woman the other day for saying hello. A girl from work I tried being friends with at my male dominant work, was polite to my face but talked non stop shit behind my back, a male coworker told me one day, he yelled at her for it, because he was sick of hearing about it, and stood up for me and told me. I was an excellent worker, I don't know why she reacted to my kindness this way. I get a lot of rejection from women, and If by chance I meet one nice, she turns into a litterbug, or a racist, or is a bad dog owner, or dies. I gave up.

At this point I'm okay with only having my husband as a friend.

I also always liked typically male interests. But men don't let you in their group unless at least one of them wants to fuck you. My husband got invited to a D&D game by his friend's husband, but was not interested. I chimed up that I had interest, but was overlooked and not adressed. It was a boy's club and I'm a women so the answer was no. They were begging my husband to join, they needed another player so badly it was said, but not so bad to let me play.

I often feel like I don't belong anywhere. Thus I just focus on my three person family. My therapist started a crafts group therapy thing, I started last week. I'm the youngest in there, but it was a nice time.