My partner has been onboard the K-pop train for several years. As much as they enjoy their groups, we've discussed several aspects that are connected to the global American capitalist hegemony. Keep in mind that these are two people's experiences rather than a scientific consensus.
The List
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As K-pop has become more mainstream, songs have begun to incorporate more and more non-Korean lyrics, particularly English.
The K-pop industry is large enough such that it attracts international artists, almost all of whom appear Eastern/SE Asian. Exo from the 2010's is one group who had eight South Korean and eight Chinese members, and they released songs in Korean, Mandarin, and Japanese. (Exo slowly lost its Chinese members due to mistreatment, but that's a different story).
Nevertheless, Exo is more of the exception. Many groups sing exclusively in Korean and English. And whereas in the past, Korean would be the predominant lyrics with a sprinkle of English, many newer songs are the exact opposite with Korean as the minority.[^1] Perhaps this is the price paid for going global.
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Girl groups in k-pop face very different treatment from boy groups.
My impression of the industry is that "typical" K-pop idols start training young, break out as part of a boy/girl group, and finally dive into a solo careers as singers, actors, etc. Not everyone makes it past each step, and some idols come from other media industries.
Girl groups deal with additional complications. Several girl groups have debuted with minors amongst their members[^2], and they have been getting progressively younger. When you consider that idols train can train for several years, this means a 16-year old member probably starting training at 13-14 years old.
In addition, girl groups are generally shorter lived than boy groups. A large part of the blame goes to the record labels. A new girl group may debut with a label, and they'll get all the attention, publicity, and studio backing they could ask for. A couple years later, a new girl group will debut with the same label, and the previous one will be neglected. I've been told that girl groups live and die by what is trendy in the moment, and this constant churn is one way to chase it.
Generally speaking, boy groups do not face those same pressures.
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Sexualization of idols
Sexualization of K-pop idols exists. It's a thing. It exists among both girl groups and boy groups, but in different ways. Girl groups face the more well known sexualization we see in our society. Boy groups face aggressive homoerotic 'shipping' among their fans.
In fact, the industry plays into it. One of the common stipulations in an idol's contract is that they will neither date nor enter romantic relationships for a period of time. This can range from a few years to the length of their contract. The implication being that the idols are single and available for you, the consumer. Coupled with the number of underage idols and prevalence of Asian fetishization in the West, this sexualization is particularly gross.
Conclusion
Next time someone speaks about the cultural exports of K-pop, you can ask "but at what cost??" and mention the above.
[^1]: For example, As If It's Your Last by Blackpink in 2017 vs. Shutdown in 2022
[^2]: For example, Ive debuted in 2021, which means Wonyoung and Liz were 17, and Leeseo was 15. Similarly, NewJeans debuted in 2022. Their youngest member, Hyein, was 14.#
If you don't have anything to base an opinion on about another culture (other than some shit you heard), then don't express an opinion.
Spreading racist stereotypes about South Korean people is bigotry. This went well beyond criticism of the K-pop industry.
The person in question literally said to you: "It’s very possible I misremember what my friends said; I’ll check on them later."
And you're still banging on about it with a one-track mind. And as I already went over, it is possible this comes from "South Korean" women stating these views about "South Korean" men based on their personal experiences with them! Not because they are racist but because they are being literal in describing their experiences in life because a lot of women deal with patriarchy and its harassment and abuse. Do you acknowledge this reality of the world that pervades so many cultures (including the west, which you seem to think people are excusing of responsibility somehow???) or are you going to talk around it?
I bang on because it is a racist stereotype of Korean culture. It's a racist stereotype regardless of the source.
Quoting South Korean women is just a micro aggressive version of of the same racist statement.
Write and then deleted an essay on racism because I can't be fucked arguing with white people on offensive shit like this. Carry on.
I have no problems saying that racist stereotypes are real and are a problem, but that doesn't change the reality of patriarchy being pervasive. It's not an either-or for me, both are real and can be real at the same time.
That said, I'm still not clear on if you actually believe patriarchy is real and a problem that affects many cultures. This whole thing kinda feels like people talking past each other a lot and I just feel kinda bad about it.