I think I can give some insight into this. I grew up in the UK in the same sociocultural bubble that Tom did, although a live in another country now. I have also been called skinny and not very manly, and people have asked me once or twice if I'm gay. When I was younger I cared a lot about Following the Rules and being liked by everyone. Ie. typical Nice Guy stuff. I was also always quite tense, especially with my sexuality around girls. Mine and Tom's thing is quite common in the UK and after giving it some thought I think what does it is the authoritarian upbringing. I went through the British school system, and their insistence on uniforms, graceless punishments for normal human mistakes like forgetting your PE kit, and the expectation that you will be a Responsible Young Adult (and not a wild teenager) frightened the cheekiness out of me when I was 7 and made me into what you see there. I'm 20 and it's only started coming back to me in the past couple of years. I have no other childhood trauma so this is what it's got to be.