this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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Dull Men's Club

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Last year I identified a workplace poop toilet for myself. It's in the next building over. It's a single toilet. A men's toilet. It's outside a large office in which only women work. So this toilet is always unused. Always clean. Always private. If I (rarely ever) need to poop at work, this is where I go.

Today I was on my way and a work acquaintance intercepted me. Every turn I took, he seemed to be going the same way and was telling me about his mother's fractured hip along the way. I had to walk twice as far beyond where I intended and finally shook him with a bogus excuse for needing to go to some unrelated department; and then had to check around corners while I double back.

I've made it though. Just wanted to update you all about this while I'm on the throne.

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[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Rarely? I tend to plan to shit at work so I get paid to do it and don't use any consumables I'd otherwise have to pay for.

[–] QuincyPeck@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Since getting a bidet at home, away games aren’t fun at all.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A water bottle and some elbow grease.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that to lube up your asshole before you insert the bottle?

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t have to jam it with lube.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean are you trying to have fun or not?

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A blown out o ring is no fun.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

They make water bottles in all the shapes and sizes you don't have to go nalgene 54oz right off the bat but goals are always useful.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

There are portable bidets that are basically water containers with squirt nozzles. If not on hand, you can always use an empty water bottle. But yes, a proper bidet is still king.

[–] skip0110@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

One I upgraded to an extended bowl/extra tall, nothing else will do. Plenty of room in the front for my junk and the water level of way down there so no splash-back.

[–] WhoIsTheDrizzle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You just gotta plan properly:

Toilet Paper Foam Instant Wet Wipe 2 Pack – SquattyPotty https://www.squattypotty.com/products/toilet-paper-foam-instant-wet-wipe-2-pack

Never as good as home field advantage, but it makes away games enjoyable.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Pairs well with Enema Coffee 1lb

[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The boss makes a dollar and I make a dime, that's why I shit on company time.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Strike, slack off, slow down, shit imperiously.

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As appealing as that sounds, the awesomeness of having the Steam Deck for a top tier gaming poop at home can't be undervalued.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have a work sp and cell phone for such times.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A work SP? A Gameboy SP for work??

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah. Technically a backpack sp but they're effectively the same thing.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm very into that. What're you playing on it at the mo?

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have a flash cart in it so usually a Pokemon or any number of random nes games.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Sweet. Living the dream.

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Retroid Pocket 4 Pro has been one of the best purchases I've made this year. I would highly recommend that for emulation. Very compact and pocketable, easily comes to work and can emulate up to PS2/Wii/many Switch games/Android games.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is anything but dull! Thank you for the recommendation 👀

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you have the budget and want higher performance then go for the Retroid Pocket 5 or the Retroid Pocket Flip 2.

You can compare.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you 🙏