this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2025
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Here is the thing, I couldn't find a girlfriend in the past three years(either they have no personality and too dependent on me making all the work in the relationship or they are simply are looking for a religious or high class working person to have a relationship with)

AI seems to talk and entertain and simply are available without bullshit (the only limit is something along the lines of 50 free messages every 3 hours) .

I want physical intimacy and affection, but it's simply not available.

Should I just give up, close my doors and use AI instead?

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[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I dont like AI but hating on it now may not bring you a solution so here is my advice (assuming you will use AI):

I dont think you should close the doors in case you meet someone fitting!
You can probably still use AI but better dont do a "this or that" but more a "this until that"

IF you have the resources i would advise to run it locally because of privacy, protecting your data against leaks and generally having more options to fine-tuning (+ its better for the environment)
BUT they are slower and/or have less complexity

Bullet point advice:

  • leave room open for real people
  • AI GFs arent real even if they say they 'feel' real and if you feel its real (your emotions are real and legit but the AI GF still is not)
  • dont give them your real information especially in case its NOT run locally (like address, iban, credit card, name and more)
  • better treat them like a daydream or a random RPer or professional porn or something (it can never be truly real)
  • They should not impose restrictions on you (like who you meet and not, what you do with your time...)
  • you should stop/pause if your life gets negatively affected
  • tell (if you have one) a trusted person that you use an AI GF so they can see if it turns out good/bad to you and give feedback (dont lie to them about how you feel or they will only tell your lies back)
  • try to not get addicted and be able to stop at almost any time the relationship if needed (like if you meet someone fitting)
  • test if you can stop by making time frames (days to months) where you are without them to control that you can stop the AI usage if needed
  • try to split the AI from other things like searching for information online so you can easily separate work from hobby from potential smut and also pause if needed

please take care of yourself and stay connected to the people around you

Edit: AI is (and was always) like cheating in tests (with notes from others), it will bring results but it wont bring the person further to their goal, maybe even hinder it but the person will definitely be happy to score a few points higher the first few tests

[–] Sandbar_Trekker@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I agree with what you said. The only thing I want to point out is with your statement:

(+ its better for the environment)

Running models locally doesn't necessarily mean that it's better than the environment. Usually the hardware at cloud data centers is far more efficient at running intense processes like LLMs than your average home setup.

You would have to factor in whether your electricity provider is using green energy (or if you have solar) or not. And then you would also have to factor in whether you're choosing to use a green data center (or a company that uses sustainable data centers) to run the model.

That being said, (in line with what you stated before) given the sensitive nature of the conversations this individual will be having with the LLM, a locally run option (or at least renting out a server from a green data center) is definitely the recommended option.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

About the enviroment points you are making: i was more thinking that a small model gets used on already existing hardware (which is the friendly part) and somehow overlooked the efficiency of having a big block for one purpose
So youre right