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this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2023
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Ah time to quote from Eziekel 23:20...
Now I kinda want to hear Sam Jackson say "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Also, why the need to specify a distinction between donkey genitals and horse semen? Do horses or donkeys have bigger cocks? Do horses or donkeys cum more? I don't know, but whoever wrote that passage into the Bible seemed to know.
Same size cocks but donkey are smaller so they look bigger. In those days a flaccid bee-dick was the mark of a cool-headed thinking man; clearly capable of controlling their profane lust.
And it's not that the average horse smell worse than a donkey, their ass is just closer to most people's nose.
Ok, so I think we've settled the theological debate around the relative size of of horse cock vs. donkey cock.
What about the relative quantity of their emissions?
RIP to my browser history. It looks like it scales with size but donkeys on average are 100-200 mL and horses are more in the 200-400mL. So, you know, up to a can of soda worth worth…
Your service to the internet is mildly appreciated!
I just read the whole chapter. It's all just ancient porn. But there's a plot hole... So Oholah and Oholibah (the one that liked donkey dick) were sisters, both prostitutes. Oholah is raped and killed by Assyrians. But then later Oholah makes an appearance in the bondage gang bang scene with the drunkards from the desert? WTF, 50 shades of grey is better written that this. Well maybe that's going too far, but still this is badly written porn.
But I liked this part:
My girl Oholibah hitting up dudes on ancient day Tinder.
Is it a donkey thats an infertile crossbreed of a horse and a mule, or is it a mule that's an infertile crossbreed of a horse and a donkey? I can't remember off the top of my head but that feels like it could affect the...ahem... emissions
I think it's a mule that's an infertile cross between a donkey and a horse.
But we need to also consider that horses were significantly smaller back in those days. People will often say a pony is a smaller breed of horse, but it's actually more accurate to say a horse is a larger breed of a pony. They bred them to be bigger over the years since that made them able to carry more weight.
So was the Biblical passage saying "well she wasn't so depraved to want the much larger horse cock, she was at least demure enough to only want donkey cock"? Or was horse cock smaller in those days so was it saying "horse cock wasn't big enough for her, she desired men with the much larger donkey cock"?
This may have serious theological ramifications and needs more research.
How many angels can dance on the head of a horse cock?
Mules be the cross breed and infertile ones
Oh, well in that case I retract this line of reasoning entirely. Thank you.
Is that the one with Donkeys and Stallions? Hot stuff.