this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
15 points (80.0% liked)
Parenting
2754 readers
1 users here now
A place to talk about parenting.
Be respectful of others' parenting decisions.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
That’s not what the person said. After a baby is born, what (besides breastfeeding) can the birthing partner do that the non-birthing partner can’t do? You can even give hormones to someone who didn’t give birth so they can lactate, so actually, there is no difference. The rest is just a societal construct of gender norms.
PPD and PPDD to name two. Just tell me you aren’t a parent without telling me. I’m not making any point about gender constructs but there are clear different experiences between motherhood and fatherhood. Many women quietly suffer for 1-3 years as their bodies adjust to the new normal. Claiming giving men hormones so they can lactate makes them have the same experience as a postpartum woman is insane. Sure a man can transition to a female gender identity and even breastfeed (according to you) but in no way are they experiencing the same physical reality of a mother who gave birth. Again, I wasn’t discussing gender constructs at all but there is a difference between saying gender is a construct and saying sex is a construct.
Sure both a woman and a man can do anything and everyone in between, and it should be that way! But watching my wife suffer from PPD is one of many reasons that it’s insane to claim they’re the same.
The non-birthing partner can suffer from postpartum depression as well. I’m sorry your wife suffered from that too. And yes, impacts on the birthing partner’s body is very real, but again, the original commenter was speaking about roles in parenthood, which both partners can take the same responsibilities. If you don’t believe me about hormones to make the non-birthing partner lactate, let me help you with that.
As a parent myself, congratulations. You found a second way motherhood and fatherhood are different that applies in the first few years. You really showed how someone else "[Simplified] motherhood to breastfeeding"
But as those kiddos age, motherhood and fatherhood generally converge more and more. Maybe there could be communities dedicated to "beyond the bump" stuff (or whatever that subreddit was called) for those first few years that motherhood is most relevant. But for the most part? Parenthood goes beyond the biologicals.
The nurses were keeping an eye on both me and my partner for PPD in our post-birth appointments, so I'm guessing that means it's something that affects everyone. I don't know what PPDD is. Google just gives me back PPD.
I was also only thinking of parenting as the part where you take care of a child. Everything else around that is parenthood to me. I can see parenthood stuff being sometimes more gender specific, especially when it comes to things like social expectations.