Parenting

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Tot@lemmy.world

Any women interested in doing a parenting post? (piefed.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 month ago by LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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Hi all! I'm a mod at !WomensStuff@piefed.blahaj.zone a trans inclusive woman only group. I'd really like to do some parenting posts. I'm not a parent so can't do good ones.

Would anyone be able to assist?

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[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Besides breastfeeding, I can't think of anything relating to parenting that's women specific. If anyone is going to add parenting content on Lemmy, I'd rather it be out here so everyone can participate.

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thank you! My daughter had some medical stuff, and I joined Facebook groups related to some of those topics. Yes, most people posting there are moms, but there isn't really anything mom-specific about those topics. So when I, a dad who is really trying to be involved in his daughter's care (and happy to help other parents in similar situations) see posts starting with "hey mommas!" or "any moms who..." it kinda hurts.

Also, I feel like most people who made the full switch from Reddit to Lemmy are college-age-ish. Not nearly as many parents around here, so I'd rather not unnecessarily fracture those communities here.

[–] Tot@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There are even quite a few "not a parent" comments here, which I'm fine with as long as it's not judging parents who are actually living in the trenches.

Any parent I know who has had a child with specific medical stuff found their communities on FB. Reddit lacked specific support, and Lemmy even less so. I hope your daughter is ok!

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Appreciate it! She was born stupidly early - a little more than 3 months ahead of schedule. Birth weight 1.25 pounds/580 grams. When she came home she was on oxygen for a while and that really sucked. She's also had (and still does) some feeding difficulties but that seems to be improving overall.

Still some developmental delays, but she's definitely cruising. Today was day 4 of preschool (our state has universal preschool, and lets you enroll a year early for kids like mine). Already starting to see changes in her! Given how many "nano preemies" seem to have long-term issues, we seem to be doing pretty well now.

[–] Tot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

That sounds massively stressful. She's so fortunate to have you. I'm glad she's doing well now.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Thanks for your feedback! Parents often feel gender specific challenges. Besides which, it's just parenting posts for women, not parenting posts exclusively about womanhood.

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 1 points 1 month ago

While I overall agree, it seems to me there is quite an unbalanced societal pressure applied to me and my partner regarding parenting our kid.

While in the house we are both equally engaged and we split tasks easily, outside the house gender norms are often expected. When father changed a nappy, the extended family was swooned, when mum did it was expected. Now, father is not expected to enforce discipline, his expected role is fun dad. Mum is expected to be 100% always in control of the situation and the disciplinarian.

[+] ComradeMiao@lemmy.world -11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Simplifying motherhood to breastfeeding is an insane thought.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s not what the person said. After a baby is born, what (besides breastfeeding) can the birthing partner do that the non-birthing partner can’t do? You can even give hormones to someone who didn’t give birth so they can lactate, so actually, there is no difference. The rest is just a societal construct of gender norms.

[+] ComradeMiao@lemmy.world -13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

PPD and PPDD to name two. Just tell me you aren’t a parent without telling me. I’m not making any point about gender constructs but there are clear different experiences between motherhood and fatherhood. Many women quietly suffer for 1-3 years as their bodies adjust to the new normal. Claiming giving men hormones so they can lactate makes them have the same experience as a postpartum woman is insane. Sure a man can transition to a female gender identity and even breastfeed (according to you) but in no way are they experiencing the same physical reality of a mother who gave birth. Again, I wasn’t discussing gender constructs at all but there is a difference between saying gender is a construct and saying sex is a construct.

Sure both a woman and a man can do anything and everyone in between, and it should be that way! But watching my wife suffer from PPD is one of many reasons that it’s insane to claim they’re the same.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

The non-birthing partner can suffer from postpartum depression as well. I’m sorry your wife suffered from that too. And yes, impacts on the birthing partner’s body is very real, but again, the original commenter was speaking about roles in parenthood, which both partners can take the same responsibilities. If you don’t believe me about hormones to make the non-birthing partner lactate, let me help you with that.

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

As a parent myself, congratulations. You found a second way motherhood and fatherhood are different that applies in the first few years. You really showed how someone else "[Simplified] motherhood to breastfeeding"

But as those kiddos age, motherhood and fatherhood generally converge more and more. Maybe there could be communities dedicated to "beyond the bump" stuff (or whatever that subreddit was called) for those first few years that motherhood is most relevant. But for the most part? Parenthood goes beyond the biologicals.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago

The nurses were keeping an eye on both me and my partner for PPD in our post-birth appointments, so I'm guessing that means it's something that affects everyone. I don't know what PPDD is. Google just gives me back PPD.

I was also only thinking of parenting as the part where you take care of a child. Everything else around that is parenthood to me. I can see parenthood stuff being sometimes more gender specific, especially when it comes to things like social expectations.

[–] Tot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As I stated in my reply to your direct message, please feel free to cross-post. This isn't a super overly active community as it is, but I want those participating actively or passively to feel comfortable.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks Tot just FYI I had issues getting messages on this account for a while

[–] Tot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Ohhh, I was wondering why you hadn't posted. That makes sense. Hope you got it sorted.