The Onion

Moving forward, there will be no more woke slave narratives. We don’t need that DEI bologna in the classroom. I’ve been around the block with the WWE enough times to know, firsthand, there’s only one true way to body slam racism, and that’s to ignore it completely. (Speaking of which, thanks in advance for not googling “WWE blackface.”)

We’re also not going to learn about Germany in 1938. No particular reason, just wanted to give a heads up.