Dad for a Minute

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Hey dad, did having a newborn make you bitter towards your parents? (programming.dev)

submitted 4 weeks ago by RagnarokOnline@programming.dev to c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world

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I just had a kid of my own and I’m finding some feelings of resentment towards mom.

Like, there were some times where I didn’t receive the supervision I needed, or where I wasn’t taught certain life skills (because she was so busy with my siblings) and I just can’t imagine letting that happen with my baby.

Did you ever feel this way towards your parents when you had me? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks Pop.

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[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

My wife and I asked my mum to come help with the babies and we would pay her as she would have to leave her volunteer job. We live 800km away and have no family here to help and my wife's family live on the other side of the world.

I asked her several times and offered a great wage but she just said "you don't have to pay me, I'd do it for free"

My reply "that's just it mum you don't do it for free and you won't do it if you are paid". She went quiet after that and I felt a little bitter.

When my kids have babies I really want to be there and help them.

[–] RagnarokOnline@programming.dev 6 points 4 weeks ago

I think this is just it. I wonder if we’ve matured in a way that our parents didn’t. I really hope it’s not the other case: that we’ll get more selfish as we get older.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Am I reading this correctly? You live 800km (497 miles) away? That’s pretty damn far. Based solely on what you’ve said here, I’m not sure she’s being unreasonable.

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You are quite right, plane tickets to and from home were part of the deal though. As well as chef cooked meals every night.

I don't think it's entitled to want to have your mum around and feeling bitter that she doesn't want to be with you and your family..

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 3 points 3 weeks ago

I see. Thanks for the additional information. That’s rough.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 2 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah I had to re read that comment like three times to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding it. "Why won't you accept my money to be 6 hours from home?" is entitled as fuck.