this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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The more I hear people talk about it who aren't cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I've only heard people say that it's stupid, that it's not a thing, that it's men's own fault etc. But I've yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don't want to start a discussion on whether or not it's real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.

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[–] chilicheeselies@lemmy.world 28 points 22 hours ago (6 children)

I think its pretty hypocritical for anyone who isnt a male to have an opinion on the validity of an experience they cant possibly have unless they transitioned.

Its like me having an opinion on have a period.

[–] tree_frog_and_rain@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

On the other hand, belle hooks', The Will to Change, is one of the most compassionate and understanding takes on the subject.

So she has an opinion on the validity of the experience, and it is that capitalism and patriarchy is alienating for men, just like it is for others. Especially working class men.

Nurturing Our Humanity, co-written by a female author, uses system science and primatology to validate what men experience in domination based societies.

I know your point was more long the lines of critics shouldn't criticize things that they don't understand, but there are a lot of feminists that do understand and have an informed opinion, because they study how these systems of domination affect everyone, not just women.

[–] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 19 points 21 hours ago

Particularly when so many trans men who have lived as women previously have come forward to validate how much more isolated men feel.

[–] subtleorbit@sh.itjust.works 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I'll disagree a little here.

My wife's had surgeries from men that know waaaaaay more about her period than she does.

That being said, they went to school for a decade and have another decade of experience learning specifically about a topic. They aren't just some random business student that dropped out 2 weeks into semester one and writes their theses via comments.

Small but important caveat. Otherwise 100% agreed. I have no ideas on periods because I'm not a woman or a Dr.

[–] tree_frog_and_rain@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Yeah I also disagreed, I've read some very compassionate takes on men's situation written by academic feminists.

Bell hooks the will to change for example. Women can be experts on gender, and how systems of domination effect everyone. Men included.

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 4 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm more of a comma or interrobang kind of guy‽

[–] GeorgimusPrime@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

And yet, your sentence ends with...

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 2 points 21 hours ago

duly noted, fixed!
but I know who I am (or at least so I think) so now it just looks weird to me.