The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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JD Vance asks National Guard member if he can touch gun (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Approaching cautiously after waiting for an opportune moment to pose his question, Vice President JD Vance reportedly asked a National Guardsman patrolling the nation’s capital Monday if he could touch the man’s service rifle. “Sorry to bother you, sir—is that thing real?” Vance said to a newly armed member of the Ohio National Guard on a D.C. street corner, adding that he was “a little scared,” but if it wasn’t any trouble, he would also love to feel the weight of the private’s M4 rifle in his hands for a couple seconds. [...]

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works -4 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I don't get it. Vance was in the Marines and while he wasn't in combat, he presumably got basic training on firearms. I know this is a parody but what is it trying to parody?

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe 'gun' is a euphemism or code for couchfuckers.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

That he's a child. Little kids like to hold and touch things. Show and Tell was important for kids in my school growing up.

[–] formergijoe@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

It is true that JD Vance is a former Marine and most likely had firearms training. He is also JD Vance and cannot interact with any human being without being really fucking awkward.

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

The gun is a metaphor for a penis and he wants to fire bullets into the couch

[–] julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

I guess it's imagining scenarios where he could be his creepy sycophantic self. Yeah it doesn't really hit for me either.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Is that where he learned how to do the cute face painting?