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Wow, that point about the public instances was quite unknown to me at the time and explains a lot of my initial frustrations for sure. I've been looking into getting started self-hosting but am unsure what kinds of important but also safe tools I should start with as a newbie. I need a guide or ranking resource of some sort. Maybe I just lurk c/self-host bunches for now tho
I have great admiration for those that maintain public instances, but it sounds like I need to again try to get the self-hosting ball rolling if I aim to truly further the privacy-preserving cause
Honestly I think it's a great way to get into self-hosting without having to worry too much! I don't have any one specific guide to point you towards. I just got started a few weeks ago myself, and mostly brushed off some old skills I'd known from other projects and doing a LOT of searching of videos and posts and articles and just figuring things out as I went. So the best I can do is tell you some topics you're going to want to learn about.
Assuming you'll want to start small and easy (not needing to expose anything to the internet, just local area network stuff), I recommend you search up the following topics:
That should give you enough to start toying around and trying things out. And once you start doing that, you start unearthing what you don't know and that'll point you towards the next thing you need to learn. :)