Dad for a Minute

749 readers

1 users here now

If you need encouragement, advice or just a hug this is the right community for you. Your "dad for a minute" is here to help. Moms are welcome too.

Note that this is an inclusive community. Everyone is welcome.

Twin communities you might be interested in

!womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone For Women Stuff
!wholesome@reddthat.com For wholesome content

Rules No hate speech, discrimination, insults. Just be a nice internet user.

founded 10 months ago

MODERATORS

tired_n_bored@lemmy.world

Hey dad, did having a newborn make you bitter towards your parents? (programming.dev)

submitted 4 weeks ago by RagnarokOnline@programming.dev to c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world

33 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just had a kid of my own and I’m finding some feelings of resentment towards mom.

Like, there were some times where I didn’t receive the supervision I needed, or where I wasn’t taught certain life skills (because she was so busy with my siblings) and I just can’t imagine letting that happen with my baby.

Did you ever feel this way towards your parents when you had me? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks Pop.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Tuuktuuk@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Maybe I'm a bit unhappy about some choices my parents have made. When I'm raising my children, I often notice that I find it a self-clarity to do things in a certain way because anything else would be hurtful towards my child, and then remember that that's not how my parents handled the same situation and that I've been hurt badly by that. And then I am left wondering what the hell was wrong with them?!

But also, I am sure I am making mistakes my children will be angry for. I don't really know which ones, although there are some I can already see when I look at my parenting years ago from the current perspective. I believe my parents have done the same.

Also, understanding how much a parent actually loves their child has been amazing. Understanding that that's what my parents had always felt for me is incredible! I thought I had understood what their "I love you" meant, but when I got my first child I understood that no, I had gotten it all wrong. And my parents were always completely okay with that. As am I with my own children. I know they will not know how important they are for me until they get children of their own. And that's okay, because the important thing is that they are happy ❤️

So, I've gotten 145 units of bitterness towards my parents, but 833 units of gratefulness.
Does that mean I've been made bitter? Yes and no, depending on whether you look at absolutely bitterness or net bitterness :)

[–] RagnarokOnline@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago

Excellent insight, thank you. This captures a bit of my feeling on the bitterness, but I hope I eventually gain the appreciation that you feel as well.