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(Sorry if this sounds like I'm whinging at you - I'm really whinging about them)
a & b) I get that peak times exist. I didn't argue against it. I regularly experience ~400 people squashing onto a 200 capacity commuter train - so yes, dissuading other people from thinking "that's a good time to go for a day out" is fine. Regarding telling you when it is, maybe some operators do, but I've not been able to find this for any of the routes I use. The ticket buying website knows when peak is, as if you select a time, it either does or doesn't show you an off-peak return amongst the tickets offered, but nowhere actually tells you exactly when and where. In some places they have some peak in the morning and afternoon, others morning only. If you're working away for a week, and head over on the Sunday night and get an off-peak return, which return trains are peak or off-peak? You finish an hour earlier then expected - peak or off-peak? You don't know until it rejects your ticket and they fine you. Really, if they'd just show on the ticket buying websites/apps "this one is peak" "this one is off-peak", that would do me fine.
c) Yes - I'm looking forward to it :)
d) It might say that, but that's not what seems to happen. Even if the person in the station says "yes, don't worry, this will be valid on that train", the person on the train can still decide it isn't and fine you (you can appeal it when you get home, assuming you're rich enough to buy another full ticket plus £100 fine).
Maybe I'm just travelling on the routes with the shittest train companies? :)
Anyway, as you say, half of these problems should hopefully disappear when the separate privatised companies' contracts run out :)